Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker
by AsianTemptation
Summary: As a tactician, Robin is very observant and he sees that many of the Shepherds have feelings for one another. Unfortunately they never seem to have the courage to express said feelings and so our tactician sets out to aid his comrades on the battlefield that is war and the battlefield of romance. Rated M just in case. First fanfic so it might be bad by some standards
1. Chapter 1

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: Hey guys this is my first story so it is super crappy in my opinion, but hey you decide how crappy it really is. So I got the idea for this when I was thinking what it'd be like if Robin facilitated most of the relationships in Fire Emblem. Since this is my first story the beginning is pretty slow. Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 1

Robin's life could be considered hectic by some standards. People like Sully would say that his life was a skip and a hop away from happy fun time land whereas the recently acquired thief Gaius would say his life was the equivalent of walking through a pit of broken glass that was thinly layered over burning coal. At said moment Robin would probably agree with the latter.

Ever since Chrom, leader of the Shepherds, found our fine specimen of a man Robin face down in a field some time ago his life had become a hurricane of fecal (dookie) matter as he found that he had a knack for leading troops into battle and had extensive knowledge of tactics. And ever since his skills with tactics, sword, and tome had surfaced in front of Chrom at Southtown (Prologue) he had been proclaimed the Shepherd's Chief Tactician before he could ask Chrom who the dickens the Shepherd's were or why in Naga's green earth his hair was a color that seemed very unnatural. Despite this Robin now stood here in the aftermath of an assassination attempt against Exalt Emmeryn's life with two new recruits for the Shepherds, a woman with bitter feelings toward most "Man-Spawn" who was also quite scantily clad and a thief who had apparently been bribed into joining the Shepherds with a bag of candy. Back to the point, his life just became far more hectic as a man claiming to be the Hero King of Yore, Marth, had saved Chrom's life, helped in the defense in the Exalt, delivered a cryptic message of the future and then disappeared faster than Chrom had recruited the Amnesiac Tactician who currently had a tome placed in front of pantaloons so a certain Taguel wouldn't notice that his friend down under took notice to the fact that she didn't wear any pants.

After all was said and done it was decided that the Shepherds would escort the Exalt and the Fire Emblem itself to a more secluded location for their safety. As Robin had recently learned in his stay within Ylisse, just about everyone and their mother was going to try and ambush the Shepherds, and the fact that Emmeryn was with them only made things that much worse...

0000000000

Having been ambushed by many a wyvern rider and betrayed by what was thought to be a family friend of the royal family the Shepherds gain the Fire Emblem and Cordelia as Emmeryn heads back to Ylisstol and the Shepherds heed a distress call from a small village to the south and it is here that the author of this story tries to actually do more than narrate the story we all have played and come to love...

Robin had been told many times that his skull was as thick as the tomes he read, but Chrom took it to a whole different level. Even Robin could see that his Pegasus Knight Sumia was head over heels for him and after a... subtle conversation to goad out information, it was revealed that Chrom had no idea of her feelings

**FLASHBACK**

"_Sooo Lord Chrom I was just walking through the camp and I just so happened to trip on a pebble when I realized that Sumia had tripped and fallen next to me. That is when I noticed that she truly is beautiful is she not?"_

_A bewildered Chrom simply sat with his trusted friend waiting for some kind of punchline or addition to what seemed like an incomplete sentence, but was met with silence._

"_Errr Yes I suppose she is-" and at that moment the Exalt had a very large grin plastered to his face as he elbowed his tactician in the ribs. _

"_Oh ho ho so you're trying to get chummy with Sumia eh? Well if you'd like I could put in a good word for you since she talks to me quite a bit although she seems flustered when she talks to me..."_

_Apparently the esteemed leader of the Shepherds was a total dunce when it came to women. Not only that, but Robin had to throw Chrom off as he definitely didn't want him thinking that Robin had any sort of attraction to Sumia, not that she was unattractive or he had an aversion to her, but rather that he saw her feelings for Chrom and desperately wished to help a lovestruck fool in her quest to take the world of love by storm by getting her with his idiot of a friend. So in what he thought was a well constructed play of words he spun a web of lies that showed he had no feelings for Sumia, effectively letting Chrom know she was open after this conversation that would hopefully alert him to her feelings, and testing his mettle as a wordsmith which Gaius informed him he wasn't at one point. He felt that this sentence was by far the greatest lie known to man and that future historians would look back at this after Chrom had married Sumia and realize that this well thought out farce was what drove the King and Queen together. And so the web was spun..._

"_Sorry, but I think I'd rather be with that woman with the hoops for hair and has an aversion to "low born", Mary, Mara, Maribal, Maribelle! Yes that one, with her rude demeanor and superiority complex what isn't to like about her."_

_Yes with those sentences alone Robin proved that he could easily deceive another with a lie that was so convoluted that is was simply genius. It was fairly obvious that Chrom had taken the bait as well._

"_Uh huh. So you have feelings for someone whose name you hardly remember, but also a woman who you have yet to say a nice thing about?"_

"_Of course. So back to the topic what do YOU think of Sumia. I personally believe that she has eyes for someone in our army. Yes a gallant man with a muscular build, good with a sword, and perhaps BLUE hair."_

_At his loud mention of blue hair the exalt began to think on the tacticians words when suddenly he erupted from his thoughts with an epiphany. A thought that would shake the very world to its core and forever change history. Or not._

"_I understand now Robin! You came to me so that I might assist Sumia in courting this blue haired man! Well don't worry friend I won't let a fellow Shepherd down in battle or in Love!" _

_And with those words he flew from the tent with a determination that could rival that of Frederick trying to convince Chrom that posters with his Fleshy Falchion in all the tents was in fact a GOOD idea. _

"_It seems that if these two are to be together I myself with have to step in even after that masterful display of words including MaryBall."_

_Now Robin had a purpose as the trip to the small village was a good ways from where they were and by Naga a young woman in love would have her day with her Prince charming even if he was a total dolt._

**END FLASHBACK**

So now our bold tactician sits stewing in strategy for the soon to be battle against what he assumes to be bandits and in a strategy to give Sumia a chance with Chrom. In the few days that the Shepherds have traveled toward the village Robin has fought from the shadows to see Sumia reign in and mount her hypothetical blue maned Pegasus. At first he subtly suggested that Sumia go and bake Chrom a pie and give it to him. After about twenty failed attempts she finally created an edible one that she soon skipped off to feed to Chrom. Yes Robin's plan was flawless in the fact that he had no real plan besides force those two together as often as possible. With no real plan his plan couldn't possibly fail which was made his plan as genius as his earlier word play. His scheming was interrupted as a young man with what appeared to be a pot on his head barreled toward the Shepherds. After introducing himself as Donnie and then formally and Donnel he proceeded to tell that bandits had attacked his village and had some villagers prisoner including his mother. After convincing him to join their efforts to stop said bandits the Shepherds head off to battle.


	2. Chapter 2

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: I didn't wait for any reviews or for the first chapter to even be officially published on the site before I dove into this chapter. Again first story so it's probably bad compared to most others.**

Chapter 2: Pies, Parasols, and Hard Heads

After saving the small village in which Donnel resided it was quickly decided to keep him among the ranks as he proved a tad weak, but definitely appeared to be a quick learner and an apt warrior given that he was trained properly. After a somewhat heated discussion with his "Ma" much to his embarrassment he was allowed to stay with the Shepherds to go and save the world after gaining parental consent.

With this new addition the Shepherds set out to Regna Ferox just as Emmeryn suggested the Shepherds do and with such ample time on his hands, the master tactician once again sets out to help his blue haired comrade. And a few days into their travels Robin decides to talk to Chrom, hopefully regarding Pies and whatnot.

"Ah Chrom, just the man I was looking for." Robin knew that in order for the bloodline of the Royal family to continue he would have to step in because if left to his own devices, the most romantic relationship the Prince would have would be with his sword Falchion.

"Oh? Need my assistance with a new strategy friend or are you looking to court a certain noble woman?" At this our very aware and clever tactician simply narrowed his eyes and left his mouth slightly agape.

"What exactly are you talking about? I don't think I know any Nobles that I'd be willing to court since both are your own two sisters and I'd sooner fall on my own sword before I thought about that."

Yes just as they said, thicker than the tomes he reads. "I thought you said you had a slight interest in Maribelle, despite your rough introduction and uh... spat the other day. I'm sure she's warming up to you especially after the fact that her rescue from Gangrel was planned and executed by you. I'm sure any woman would consider the man that saved her from the clutches of evil as a suitor. Even if that man also insulted he hair and her attitude"

"Who?"

At this Chrom became very confused.

"Eh what do you mean who Robin?"

"Who is this Noble that I recently saved from Gangrel? I remember encountering him near the border where we skirmished after he demanded the Fire Emblem, but beyond that..."

"Maribelle. The woman with hoops for hair..."

Yes with this Robin's memory became vividly clear as to who Chrom was talking about.

**FLASHBACK**

_ Just after recruiting Donnel, the Shepherds were already making their way to Regna Ferox and Robin was well into stewing as to how he could give Sumia her chance with Chrom. As he thought a pair of blonde antlers bounded toward him from behind with a cheesy grin slapped across her face. When she came next to him he greeted her with a smile before he actually registered who it was and when he did he jumped back with both arms crossed in an X formation._

"_WHOA HOLD UP, you better not have another slimy, nasty surprise to be throwing down my shirt!"_

"_Oh get over it, you know if you could see that rubbery thing you did with your face, you'd do the same. Anyway I don't have any frogs for you I just thought I'd come and talk to you." She said with an all too innocent face._

_Robin was a master tactician and as such he was able to see through a ruse like this. But his job also meant that he must not only see underneath the underneath (total Naruto reference right?) he must also be able to successfully gain information that could aid with crucial situations such as this. Yet again Robin would prove Gaius wrong as he masterfully manipulated words to gain critical intelligence to his situation._

"_HA HA Yes of course my good friend and/or colleague! I too would love to discuss things with you as we can share personal information between each other and not be worried as to others discovering it since what we share is considered confidential by our friendship!" _

_Nailed it. Robin was considered a genius tactician, a decent swordsman, average mage, but none could possibly deny his skill in word play. He knew it was successful as any and all who were gifted the chance to hear his lies had a slightly confused and somewhat aloof look about them. How he ended up a tactician and not a thief or ruffian was far beyond his understanding._

"_Sure whatever that means. I just heard from Chrom that the Shepherds tactician might be out to seek a woman's affection in the very army he commands. Yes a woman who happens to be good friends with me so I was hoping you might be able to fill me in so I could help you out with you quest for love!"_

_Yes that last bit might have been squealed out a bit and left Robin befuddled until he remembered the web of lies that could not be unraveled._

"_Ah yes of course I may have told Chrom that I have a bit of an interest in a certain someone." _

_Obviously Lissa wanted any and all information regarding her best friend to come forth so that this intrigue would make for juicy gossip in the mess tent later on._

"_Soooo what do you think of her? What is she like?"_

"_Yes well although Marylbol has a very abrasive attitude that I find quite rude and annoying she also has a strange taste in hairstyle that I find hard to enjoy. She is quite condescending, but all in all I'd say her hoops for hair and attitude still have a charm of their own." _

"_...that's all? Nothing about her beauty. Not even a remotely positive thing to say about her. Now that I think about it, did you say Maryl- BOL?"_

"_What else is there to say Lissa? I'd say that any woman and maybe some men would fall victim to my roguish charms."_

_It had become well known amongst the Shepherds that their leader was horrid when making small talk and even worse with women. Lately they began to realize that the second in command was almost as much of a dunce in both areas._

_A few hours after this encounter word spread fast about Robin's so called 'affection' for the woman he so aptly called hoops for hair. After a good meal in the mess tent Robin was due to read up on more strategy books when he heard an all to familiar name._

"_HOOPS FOR HAIR RIGHT!?"_

_In the three seconds he had to turn around he remembered only what appeared to be an undersized umbrella and the woman that he had discussed with both Chrom and Lissa._

"_Ah yes hello Mayba-"_

_The parasol mentioned before struck down the tactician of Ylisse with a fury unknown to man. It was on that day that a man was killed in his prime, denied the thing that almost all search for in life. That day Robin, Tactician of Ylisse, Second in command to Prince Chrom himself, and friend to many was beat down by the woman he loved and forever denied the sweet bliss that is romance. Or that's how everyone else who heard from Lissa saw it. Instead our lame brained tactician only remembered the THWUCK of the parasol and waking to Lissa and Chrom both assuring him that many other women would come his way. Why he cared about such a thing didn't really come to mind, but he accepted their kind words and suggested that Chrom go ask Sumia to bake a pie so that Chrom and himself could eat one. After telling him to meet him in a secluded field under the sunset with the pie that Sumia was to deliver, he simply never showed up and Chrom decided that eating Sumia's now delicious pies with the cook was better than eating alone. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Hoops for hair. A phrase that would forever be burnt into Robin's memory as it was a constant reminder of the headache he was constantly experiencing. The strange thing being that he had completely forgotten this incident up until Chrom had mentioned what every Shepherd had told Robin was a very poor choice in a nickname for someone of Maribelle's station. He also finally learned her name which was a plus since he was soon going to apologize for what everyone else considered ill behavior, again something that he still didn't grasp. What made matters worse was the fact that when Lissa was tending to his skull, Frederick came and Robin took notice to the fact that Lissa had a small blush and had also accidentally smacked him in the head in her attempt to talk to Frederick. It seems that Frederick the Wary was very UNaware of his own Princess' feelings for him, just like Chrom after who knows how many pies and a date in the sunset was still no closer to acknowledging Sumia's feelings. It was supremely frustrating to Robin that his friends were such idiots when it came to women. Of course not all men were blessed with Robin's skill as a smooth operator as was very apparent with his interaction with Maribelle.

"Ahem. Well Robin I don't suppose that you'll tell why exactly you were looking for me?"

After being torn from his own thoughts and memory Robin realized that yet again he had spaced out in front of someone else for a prolonged amount of time. Along with his hard headed constitution, spacing out was a bit of a norm for the amnesiac tactician.

"Yes well I was wondering if you might assist me in training Donnel. I agreed to help him, but my training of the sword is somewhat limited compared to your skill."

"Ah yes the young farmhand we recruited. I'd love to help a fellow Shepherd especially if he is a bit green. Wouldn't want him tripping onto his own weapon like Sumia. Haha"

Here Robin's gears immediately began to turn. He had made a jest about Sumia, but he wasn't sure if it was in good humor or if he had done so as a sharply worded jab to demean her image. Yes now Robin had to decipher this enigma or risk setting Sumia up with a man who didn't think so highly of her. This was something that could woefully destroy the tacticians plans to set up what was once one sided love into a beautiful relationship. Unsure of his next move, Robin carefully calculated every possible move from here so he didn't end up hurting Sumia or getting Chrom into a very serious predicament with a woman he didn't love. Now Robin's true nature as tactician and wordsmith would be put into play as-

"You know Robin, I've been thinking a lot lately about my future after this war with Plegia."

-getting the information to make the correct decisions so as not to hurt either person would be-

"Huh?"

This was the man that had made every tactical decision for the Shepherds and kept every person under his command alive and all he could offer in response to Chrom was a single word that any person with half a brain could say as well.

"Well Robin it's just that I feel like I can talk to you about the serious matters of my life as you did so as well with our talk of Maribelle and... Oh sorry to bring up such a thing now." He said nervously as he scratched the back of his head. His actions alone were enough to peak Robin's interest.

"It's quite alright Chrom. I hardly remember what even transpired with that woman. So please continue, a serious conversation from one man to another." Robin was confused as to what was going on, but romance antics aside he would help his friend through any situation.

"Well you see after all those pies Sumia has baked for me and our little unexpected date in the sunset-"

Robin couldn't help but smile at this since this was all his doing and from Chrom's nervous demeanor and reddening face, it appeared that the plan our tactician hadn't actually planned was truly working.

"-I feel like maybe there could be a future for Sumia and myself after this war. I feel like I finally got to see more of the woman in Sumia than the warrior I've come to know and trust on the battlefield.

At this Robin simply had his hand on his chin and was nodding intently to give the impression that he was listening when in actuality he was stifling his smile since Chrom was actually feeling something for Sumia and his poorly thought out plan was actually working.

"Er so what say you wise tactician? What do you think I should do, I mean she is one of my subordinates and I don't know if it's appropriate for the general to be in a romantic relationship with one of his own soldiers."

It was fairly obvious that Chrom had finally broken the barrier in his head and was seeing the potential of a relationship with Sumia. Finally Robin did something that would shake the very foundations of the Shepherds and rock this world... like a hurricane.

"You know what I say Chrom!? I say you should GO FOR IT! Who cares that you're the general and she is a soldier under your command? I say you start a relationship with her and if it's good than ask her to marry you!"

At this Chrom just smiled and sheepishly said

"Thanks Robin. You definitely calmed my nerves on that one. I guess I'll try to approach her about this kind of thing."

And it is here that our dimwit of a tactician takes something good and turns it into something tragic.

"Yes and just think, should this little enterprise fail, you'll sully your reputation and send Sumia into a spiral of depression that will leave the Shepherds in a SEVERELY weakened state. Not only that, but all hope of you finding love after a failed relationship with one of your soldiers is so low that Vaike would have a better chance of courting Emmeryn should he wear and shirt and proceed to walk around with no pants on instead."

Now Robin unknowingly sent Chrom into an unstable train of thought that ended with Chrom deciding to completely avoid Sumia in hopes that the dark and foreboding future that was foretold by Robin would never come to pass. Robin on the other hand simply thought that he had given Chrom the motivation he needed to finally give Sumia the happiness she truly deserved.


	3. Chapter 3

Robin: Tactician, Gentlemen, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: Hey I'm not sure if you guys find flashbacks annoying, but for some reason I always find myself writing one in my story so if you feel it's a bad thing just drop that in the reviews so I can try to adjust the story. On a different note I was writing to say that I might start another story of FE Awakening where it's a bit darker like the story's "Et tu My Love" or "A moving on Relationship" if you haven't read those than do it because they are better than this story. If not that I was thinking of a Naruto story based on Dragon6's Mizukage story because I love that one and I thought I'd write my piece since many have stories based on it. Sorry for the long author's note.**

Chapter 3: Bonds forged through loss

The rain fell down in a torrent of shame and guilt on the tactician as he and his comrades fought viciously to escape the grasp of the Plegians. More they fought viciously whereas he put up what most would consider fearsome enough to put on their bathrobe and run in fear. He felt as if the world itself was against him, for when he tried to raise his sword his arm only trembled giving the impression that he was nothing but a weakling filled with fear. He had failed miserably in his attempt to save the Exalt and now being the craven he was, he fought to save his own pathetic life along with the other Shepherds. He wondered on more than one occasion if 'accidentally' being impaled would be the right thing to do as he felt like this was all on him. His failure and his failure alone led to the fateful moment when Emmeryn stepped over the edge to save Chrom the heartache of choosing his sister or the Fire Emblem. If Robin had a better strategy things may never have been so dire in the first place. Maybe he should have sent a detachment of Shepherds with Emmeryn when they parted ways in Ylisse and-

"Sorry friend!"

A brusque voice quickly threw out these words and soon Robin's 'accident' finally came to be. One of Plegia's patented axemen made a slash for Robin's torso only to have his attack hit home. So absorbed in his thoughts was the tactician that he failed to see or to evade the attack and soon had a fairly large gash across his chest. Now the fight was less a memory of what Robin would forever remember as his greatest failure and more a surreal blur of Plegians, a large burly man only identified as Mustafa, and a pink haired woman smuggling the Shepherds out of the bone yard. One thing Robin did remember was his promise to Chrom and Lissa, and by extension all of the Shepherds as well...

**FLASHBACK**

_The young Prince paced furiously throughout the room. The reason for this was fairly obvious, as soon as they had arrived in Regna Ferox the former Khan Basilio had informed Chrom, Robin, Lissa, and Frederick of the events that transpired in Ylisstol while they were on their way here. Apparently the capital had been put under siege and now the Mad King had Emmeryn captive, to be executed soon as well. The intel only gave the Shepherds a good three days to move on the Plegian capital and save the Exalt. What's worse was that all of this solely depended on Robin's plan as to whether or not Emm would survive or not. His confidence was not so high, as the pressure of this endeavor put the entire halidom into the mix as well as anyone close to Emmeryn. The four soon broke the news to the rest of the Shepherds as well and their reaction was to be expected. Sully and surprisingly Donnel were gung ho about charging straight into Plegia right at that moment to crack some craniums to save the Exalt. Others like Virion were more sensible about the severity of the situation, but the prevailing opinion of what had to be done was to go to Plegia, preferably within the next day or so, and take the Plegians by storm for their transgressions. Although most were adamant about destroying the Plegians where they stood some were too shaken to take notice to the conversation._

"_Lissa darling, it is most unbecoming for someone of your station to cry like this. Do not worry, I have no doubts that Chrom and that tactician of his will save dear Emmeryn and see the day through."_

_Most Shepherds took notice to Lissa's display of tears as she was a shining beacon of hope in the Shepherds. She was the little sister of just about all the Shepherds as her smile and upbeat attitude were for any and all who were down on their luck. To see her like this dampened the bloodlust of most soldiers and further depressed any off the Shepherds who were already feeling the pressure of Emmeryn's situation._

_Robin was one of those who couldn't stand seeing her like this, even though her pranks were most bothersome he was very fond of the young Princess. Suddenly his resolve had taken form and he was most determined to do just as Maribelle had said, to not only bring Emmeryn back, but also see that all of the Shepherds say the day through. With his new found bravery he approached Lissa and rested on one knee next to the chair she was in, put a hand on her shoulder, and looked her in the eyes with a serious look that could put a Hyuga to shame._

"_Maribelle is right Lissa. You have absolutely nothing to worry about, not only will Chrom do his best, but everyone worthy of the title Shepherd will fight to the bitter end to save Emm. Not only that, I too will fight tooth and nail to save her and I'll devise a strategy that would make Mark the tactician think twice about crossing paths with me!"_

_With this Robin took both hands and cupped her cheeks to emphasize his point._

"_I Promise. I would sooner die than let Gangrel execute Emmeryn. You have my word."_

"_Yeah little lady, you can bet your little lordling butt that the Vaike will die to take the glory before I let Robin or Emmeryn go down!" _

_After Vaike's little outburst the rest of the Shepherds were up in arms about saving the Exalt with a will of Iron. Thankfully Lissa let a small smile creep onto her face as she wrapped her arms around Robin's neck._

"_Thank you Robin. I know you'll do your best. Thank you s-s-soo MUUUCH, WAHHHH"_

_In yet another display of tears, Lissa was wailing although for joy thankfully. When Robin looked up to turn to the rest of the Shepherds he briefly locked eyes with Maribelle who had a softened look to her face as opposed to the harsh words and less than friendly looks he received after the hoops for hair incident. He gave a small nod to her as she simply offered a weak smile and she returned to her friends side. With that out of the way Robin addressed the rest of the Shepherds._

"_I promise you as well, we will save Emmeryn, but whats more we will all walk home to Ylisstol as the heroes who defeated the Mad King's pathetic attempt to break our spirits. Who of you will walk with me on this journey to save our halidom!" _

_Thankfully Robin was met with thunderous applause and cheers as he was very concerned about his speech that had been made up on the spot._

_Sighing with relief, Chrom grabbed his shoulder and simply offered a thank you for his service and his soon to be successful rescue of his sister._

_Chrom never realized how wrong he was._

**END FLASHBACK**

Having defeated the Plegians, the Shepherds make haste for Regna Ferox with a critically injured tactician in tow. Having acquired a grievous wound he can barely make out the details of what is going on and loses consciousness.

"_I Promise. I would sooner die than let Gangrel execute Emmeryn. You have my word."_

His face took a distressed look.

"_I would sooner die than let Gangrel execute Emmeryn"_

His breathing became labored and he was visibly in pain.

"_You have my word"_

Robin awoke and was sitting straight up. He looked around at the design of the room, coming to the conclusion that he was in Regna Ferox. Immediately he hoped that his crushing failure had been a simple nightmare and turned to the person that had been sitting next to him. When his eyes met Maribelle's he saw exactly what he needed in order to know that his nightmare was a reality. She could barely meet his gaze and when she did, the sorrow that filled them was enough to let Robin know that he had been unable to keep his promise to the Shepherds. All he could do was close his eyes and try his best not to cry, as he had failed the few friends that he had, he had let each and every one of them down even after his promise, and he had failed them all as a whole since he was their trusted tactician, and finally he failed his best friend Chrom.

He found a hand on his chest and came to realize that it was Maribelle's. She lightly patted his chest as she continued to comfort him with words.

"It is most unbecoming of the Prince's Tactician to sit in a dark room crying to himself. The loss of the Exalt was most definitely a tragic loss, but nonetheless it was not your fault. Your plan was flawless and you could not foresee Aversa's witch craft. Please you must not blame yourself for this-"

Before she could finish Robin simply rolled over and began to stifle his sobs as he gripped his head with both hands. Having failed to raise his spirits, the Noble woman rose to leave the room. Standing in the doorway to take one final look at the driveling mess that was Robin, Maribelle simply looked upon his form. If Robin had been looking at her as she stood there he would have seen a sorrow in her eyes that was not meant for the Exalt's death or her friend Lissa's current loss. Instead it was a feeling meant for Ylisse's master tactician who appeared to be taking the brunt of self imposed blame for Emmeryn's death. Despite their relationship, if it could even be called that, she could only feel the pain of another Shepherd as he continued to berate himself. She quickly left so as not to give passing soldiers the idea that she relished other people's anguish.

000000

Robin stood as Chrom himself had began to doubt his own abilities in front of all of the Shepherds. He felt that he was not worthy of the mantle Exalt or to take on the ideals of Emmeryn. But after a heartfelt promise from Robin that they would take on the challenge of ruling Ylisse and becoming worthy of Emm's ideals together the other Shepherds heartily agreed that they too would support Chrom. With Chrom's renewed confidence it was agreed that eventually they would descend upon Plegia with a fury that would rival a certain woman's assault on the tactician with a parasol.

With that Robin quickly ducked out of the room as to indulge in his self pity. Unfortunately he missed the site of Sumia approaching Chrom with another pie to comfort and encourage him with the future endeavor of taking Gangrel down. Not only that, but Chrom happily agreed to talk to her as he wanted nothing more than to share a meal with a trusted ally, quickly forgetting his idea to avoid her.

000000

A strange day indeed for Robin as he had not thought of a couple he would like to see together in the army he commanded. Usually he'd be concocting strategies while also incorporating two man formations with two people he'd like to see together. Lately he'd thought of how interesting and challenging it would be to see if the swordsman Lon'qu with his fear of women would be able to court Cordelia out of her obsession of Chrom. Or maybe what it would be like to get Sully into a relationship with a man. He had been in the early stages of getting Panne a suitor as well until his latest escapade in Plegia.

After his monumental failure he just couldn't bring himself to do anything worthwhile besides devise a strategy to eventually take on Gangrel and his deteriorating army. Even then his strategy had holes and had to be shored up by Chrom and Frederick. He was failing his one and only job and soon the Shepherds might let him go so as to not be led into battle only to be impaled because their "tactician" was too incompetent to lead them.

Robin was interrupted from his self abuse when Chrom came into the darkened room. Thankfully it was dark or Chrom would have seen the unshaven, disheveled lump that Robin had become. Chrom brought in a lamp to illuminate the room as he sat down.

"Robin I have something I wish to discuss with you."

This was it. He failed to save Emmeryn and now he was going to pay the price. He could hear the strain in Chrom's voice as he forced those words out. Robin doubted that they would kill him, but he knew that sending him out of the Shepherds was a definite. Maybe they'd abandon him in Plegia since he had recently acquired a bounty from Gangrel himself. Yes then he'd be brutally tortured and cut to pieces and displayed like the rotten piece of shi-

"I have to say friend, you look very bad. Are feeling unwell?"

"Of course not Chrom I uh, just forgot to shave today."

Robin had a fake smile so that he didn't alert Chrom to his current plight. Robin had already plotted five escape plans and was working on another when Chrom decided to interject.

"Like I said I really need to discuss something. Well more two things now. All of the Shepherds have taken note of your recent behavior Robin and it is very concerning to us all."

"..."

Robin was at a loss for words as he wasn't sure how to come at this situation. Usually he'd masterfully manipulate words to throw off his scent, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that.

"I'm sorry Chrom. I just- I tried my best, but..."

"Robin concern yourself with this no more-"

Here it is, you're fired or you let my sister die so you too will suffer the same fate you stupid idiot or-

"- none of this is your fault and you will not blame yourself for any longer."

With this Robin was confused as he was expecting something more... violent.

"I know you think that you failed in saving Emmeryn, but your plan brought us closer to saving her than anyone could have hoped and the fact that our enemy summoned other worldly forces is something far beyond your control."

"But it is my fault, I should have been more aware of their abilities or-"

"Robin stop this nonsense! No one blames you and you shouldn't either! We all did our best and Emm would have been more than proud of our efforts. We need our tactician to finish off Gangrel and more importantly I need my friend so that I might have some advice in proposing to Sumia."

Robin simply sighed and sat in deep thought. He hoped that no one blamed him, but he just couldn't get over what he had failed to do. In retrospect, he couldn't have truly foreseen the risen archers and if no one blamed him, well then he'd do his darndest to make them proud by finding a way to beat Gangrel and-

"Eh?"

"What is it Robin?"

"Propose to who?"

Chrom simply grinned.

"Ah good to see you actually heard that bit. That's what I originally came to talk about before I decided to get you out of your funk."

"Yeah Yeah just get to the part about defeating Sumia and proposing to Gangrel or uh wait..."

Chrom just laughed at his tactician's blunder and continued on.

"Well I decided that after officially defeating Gangrel I want to propose to the woman I love. After all those pies I couldn't help but think what my life would be like without Sumia around. She is so caring and I never realized how beautiful her light pink hair is when it is blowing in the wind until I rode atop her Pegasus when she saved me in Regna Ferox. Er back to the point, I'd like to know what you think since you're the one who unknowingly put us together."

Yes unknowingly put them together. Robin completely forgot about Plegia as he was now indulging in his self satisfaction. He had successfully gotten Chrom to acknowledge Sumia and now he wanted to propose. Yes Robin was indeed the love doctor and now his confidence was so abundant, he might start referring to himself as 'The Robin' just like Vaike did.

"Heh heh Chrom I think that is wonderful. I wish you the best of luck with your proposal because I don't have any real advice. I'm sure you proposing to her is enough to make her happy friend."

"I guess so, but don't you think she'd want something more... special?"

"No now get out I need to redo the plan to defeat Gangrel and work on some personal plans."

And so our dimwit tactician had returned to normal as he forced a confused Chrom out of his quarters and then revised his plan to defeat the Mad King. Not only that, with Chrom's success in romance, Robin's confidence in pairing up Shepherds was renewed as well.

"Now then if I remember correctly we are to confront Gangrel on this field outside the Plegian capital here. Now then I think I'll send Lon'qu with Cordelia here as this is the optimum place for a swordsmen. Aaaaand here I'm sure that cavalry will be waiting to charge our lines so I'll send Panne and... Oh how about that armored fellow Kellam? Here I could use Sully to break the enemy lines with... hmmm? Who should I send with Sully? Let's see, she wields lances and swords, independent woman, and red hair. How about Gregor? Yes he has red hair as well so that should work well..."


	4. Chapter 4

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Matchmaker

**Author's Note: Alright this chapter will probably be Chrom's marriage and a little bit of shenanigans after the Plegia/Ylisse war. I'll try to get to the Valm Invasion on the next chapter since I feel it's only in the nature of Awakening for the characters to get married while they're fighting together. Also on the last chapter I wrote that I might start another story and I got permission from Dragon6 to do a fanfic based on his Mizukage story of Naruto. Though that one is on the back burner as I'll keep this story priority.**

Chapter 4

Robin stood atop a small rise in the landscape looking down on Plegia's remaining forces with Chrom. They watched as the remaining forces of the Mad King surrendered to the miniscule army that had broken their lines and killed their ruler. Close to Chrom and Robin was the corpse of the mentioned King as he had been cut down in an epic display by Chrom. Robin and a few Shepherds accompanied Chrom to confront the Mad King when Robin ordered everyone to let their Prince finish this fight for his country and his older sister. Well that's what Robin said in his rousing speech anyway, he actually just wanted Chrom to look as heroic and masculine as possible in front of Sumia since he was going to propose shortly after this fight. Now they stood victorious and after all was said and done, the Shepherds were discussing a few things with the Khans when Sumia had found her way to Chrom. She had an iron grip on him as she was hassling Chrom for letting Robin talk him into taking on Gangrel alone. It was obvious that she was just seriously concerned for the man that she loved and that she was even more afraid since she felt that her feelings had been returned during their talk after Emmeryn's death.

It was very apparent to all who had witnessed this little scene that the two needed privacy, but Robin was the one to verbalize it. And he did so in such a tactful way that even the most honeyed words that Virion would whisper into a fair maiden's ear would pale in comparison to his statement.

"Well I think we should go everyone. It appears that Sumia has a pie that is currently in her oven and she can't let Chrom have it with our company."

All had an appearance that resembled a fish having heard the tacticians crude statement. When they turned to see what he had to say for himself, they simply saw a black and purple cloak fly around one of the bits of broken stone wall with the tactician giggling to himself madly.

Even after seeing both Chrom and Sumia turn shades of red that were brighter than the blood pouring out of Chrom and Flavia's noses, the Shepherds gave the two their space. Robin had hidden himself ever so carefully so that he might see the fruits of his labor. He thankfully paid Kellam to stand close to Chrom as soon as the battle ended and having found him afterward, he simply stood behind him knowing that Kellam had the uncanny ability to blend into any environment.

"Sumia are you- Please don't cry."

"I-I'm sorry it's just that I was so worried about you and-"

"It's quite alright Sumia. I've been so worried about everyone, the Shepherds, my people, the Feroxi's helping us. It's nice to have someone worry about me, especially someone I... someone who... is so gifted... with pegasi."

A loud clang was heard as Robin smashed his face against Kellam's armor. '_So gifted with Pegasi.' I definitely need to remember that when I try to court a woman._ Robin almost wanted to shout what Chrom should say as it seemed like he was crashing and burning.

"You know Sumia, I feel like next to my sister's legacy, I'm already a disappointment."

"No Chrom! You aren't a disappointment at all, why if none of us believed in you then we definitely would not have followed you here."

Robin could not see them, but he was listening very intently as this was the culmination of hours of planning. Hours of him hiding in boxes, face down in the Pegasus pens, and sitting at the women's table in the mess tent just to gain any information on Sumia and Chrom to give to the other person. This little bogus teen confession scene was exactly what Robin needed to ease his mind since many might consider his 'information gathering' as borderline stalking.

"Thanks Sumia. You always help me see the brighter side of things."

"You're the brightest thing to me Chrom."

"..."

"..."

Oh good gravy. Robin had set this up and both had taken the bait hook, line, and sinker. Now they were just going to stare into each others eyes, or he assumed they were doing that since he was currently staring into Kellam's back.

"Sumia I am far from a perfect man and I know you could do better, but I'd like to ask if you'd... be my... wife."

Sumia had audibly gasped as the man of her dreams had just proposed and no matter how awkward it was she was still the happiest woman in the halidom. As she was going to embrace her new husband and give her answer, Chrom got his answer, albeit in a fashion that no one expected.

"YES HAHAHA!"

Chrom had gotten the answer he wished for although it hadn't come from Sumia's mouth. Instead it had come from a man and it sounded vaguely like Robin.

"Er well strange voices aside, Yes Chrom, yes yes and yes again. I'll gladly be your wife!"

"Haha yes! You've made me the happiest man in the world Sumia!"

"And you have made me the happiest woman as well!"

Robin was currently living vicariously through Chrom and Sumia's happiness, as he was the happiest man in the world, having set up his pig headed friend with a woman who had an unrequited love for him. Robin was an unstoppable force of love and he would gladly give his services to any and all who were single or in need of love!

And then Robin realized how wrong that sounded so after rewording his victory and statement to help those in search of love he quickly set out to join the others so as not to rouse suspicion when the new couple came to give their good news.

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The wedding was absolutely beautiful. There were flowers galore, all of the female Shepherds had been clad in dresses that were only second to the bride herself, and Sumia even had her Pegasus in the castle to enjoy the greatest day of her riders life. It was funny because Sully had been a part of the Bride's maids and she looked, as Sully had said herself "uncomfortable as hell." Even Panne had been dressed in something more appropriate than her usual no pants and chest exposing top combo. Although the Shepherds were there as a group, many had split off into groups or pairs for the upcoming dance that the newly weds were to participate in themselves. Being the romance obsessed man he was, and thanks to his recent success with pairing off two Shepherds, Robin was on the prowl for anyone who was willing to dance together as it meant that they might have a natural affinity for one another. This would make his life much easier when he forced them together on the battlefield, if they were ever called upon once again.

Sadly he had hoped to see Cordelia and Lon'qu getting to know each other better, but it seems that Lon'qu was still afraid of women and based on how Cordelia was actually saying the word sigh, she still had eyes for the new King. Although Sully was in a bit of a sour mood, Gregor was 'keeping company of her' as they had forged a 'platonic' bond after saving each other multiple times in the final assault on Plegia. Virion was talking to any woman who'd spare him an ear and strangely enough he was actually getting somewhere since many women had wedding fever. Olivia and Maribelle were off trying to practice picking up Nobles in hopes that Olivia would be able to get past her crippling shyness. A strange sight indeed, but a humorous one at that since it seemed that Maribelle was being ignored in favor of Olivia by many Nobles and judging by Maribelle's face, sometime soon somebody would find a parasol in their face. Robin knew that if he kept his distance he would not be on the receiving end of that parasol for a second time.

Robin decided to make his way to the cake that had been prepared for this monumental occasion and upon arrival he saw that Gaius had already eaten more than his fair share of cake. Something else quite disturbing was that he appeared to have stashed some bits of cake into his cloak for a later occasion, with icing smearing his pockets and face. Robin then found Vaike talking to him about how shirts were holding ol Teach's talent back. After thoroughly explaining that no fights were going to break out at the wedding and that Teach needed to keep his shirt on, Robin then spied the Plegian Dark Mage Tharja looking in his direction. Or maybe she was actually looking at the Vaike instead. After briefly thinking, Robin came to the conclusion that she was spying on Vaike. It definitely seemed likely as she was a strange one and Vaike was... exotic as well. It made sense that she'd spy on him as she seemed fairly reserved and Vaike's pompous attitude would probably intimidate her. Now Robin had yet another pair of Shepherds he would need to tend to.

Robin was called to Chrom's side as he was the best man. Since the official ceremony was over already, everyone was just talking to one another and congratulating the newly weds. Finally everyone had said their piece to Chrom and Sumia and they both wanted the Master Tactician to spend some time with them before they set out to check on the pie that Sumia had been baking since she first met Chrom. Nearby Robin spotted Lissa with an ecstatic grin as Frederick had taken it upon himself to stand guard over her for the next 24 hours since Chrom had explicitly forbid Frederick from coming within a thirty foot radius of him and Sumia for that allotted time. Lissa obviously had no objections since seeing her brother married off got her in the mood to find her soul mate as well, or get her soul mate to stop starting campfires and look at her. Panne was standing next to what appeared to be an empty suit of armor and with Robins genius mind he deducted that she had brought that armor herself in order to fit in to the tradition of having a date for a social gathering. Then the armor moved and he saw that Kellam had actually been standing there. Robin then recalled that Kellam had been trying to get Panne to spar with him before the war ended for some reason. All of the other Shepherds kept to themselves or were in small gatherings just socializing.

Now that the war was over Robin had more than enough time to get his fellow Shepherds together to make one gigantic dysfunctional family...

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Two years. Two years after the Plegia/Ylisse war and Robin was sitting in his chambers at castle Ylisse. He had been given the title Grandmaster as Chrom had also been named King. Now two years later Chrom had a child, Lucina, and she was the spitting image of Chrom. It was nice for Robin since without him little Lucy wouldn't even be pooping on Chrom if not for his intervention.

Yes two years and there was only one way Robin could describe it. It was living hell. In the two years that the war had ended, most of the Shepherds had gone their different ways, although some had positions at the castle and those who lived elsewhere would visit often. Without all of the Shepherds around Robin couldn't do the one thing he loved most, following people around gaining information on them by eavesdropping, probing their thoughts through word play, and of course the clincher, eventually getting them into serious relationships. He instead would ask to borrow Sumia's romance novels, the very ones that she read before she married Chrom as she used to imagine herself as the leading lady and Chrom as the dashing hero that would sweep her off of her feet. Regardless Robin had to settle for the novels to satisfy his insatiable desire for romance.

Luckily for Robin, a knight from Regna Ferox was on her way to Ylisse with a very urgent message that would give Robin his long awaited chance for romance. Raimi had come to deliver news that the continents neighbor Valm had recently been acting very unfriendly. When pressed Raimi had suggested that war might be on the horizon and that got a very unexpected reaction from Robin.

"YAAAAHOOOOOOO! OH BABY!"

With this outburst, Robin began dancing in a very queer fashion that left everyone in awe. Most eventually deduced that he was a little excited that he finally had a reason to put his tactical skills to use again so they ignored it.

Robin however was very excited for a different reason as we already know.

'Yes yes, finally the Shepherds will be reunited and I can quell my desire to get my friends, acquaintances, and seemingly random allies into relationships. After my success with Chrom I feel I could help anyone with their love problems. Hehehe hahaha'

"HAHAHAHAHA YEEEESSSSSSSS! I HUNGER FOR MORE!"

Now everyone could not ignore their tacticians maniacal laughter as he yelled incoherently about things no one could possibly begin to understand. Something about more pies and other nonsense.


	5. Chapter 5

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: I'm going to give a shout out to Sol D. Mars for being the first to review, Zallow for reviewing two different chapters, and Han-Ko since he's reviewed three chapters. I appreciate the support and if Han-Ko is a she instead of he, I apologize for assuming you were male. And Zallow, as for Robin's pairing I'm not too sure who it'll be, but most of the pairings I'm going to do are from my current Lunatic+ file. Also I never was to much of a fan of Lucina and Robin because I thought that marrying your best friends daughter from the future was just too weird for my taste. I will give Nintendo and Intelligent systems credit for that pairing as it tied into the story well and was written very nicely too. **

Chapter 5:

Now Robin and company were heading to Port Ferox in an attempt to stop the spearhead of the Valmese invasion. After meeting Khan Flavia, they were met with the pleasant surprise of Virion's company once again, although Robin was more than happy to welcome his beautiful retainer Cherche. Robin had tried to talk to her at one point, although her Wyvern Minerva had taken a disliking to him and after trying to eat him multiple times, Robin decided that he enjoyed being alive far more than trying to simply get to know Cherche. The only thing that seemed out of place with Minerva was that the mark on Robin's arm that resembled to design on his cloak became somewhat irritated when nearing the Wyvern. When Robin thought more he realized that the mark was agitated once when had sparred with Nowi in dragon form. He quickly filed this away as he had far more important things to think of.

In the few days that the Shepherds had been reunited, Robin was already plotting as to who would be with who and how he was going to get at it. In those painful two years, Robin had many books where two lovers would embrace on the beach as a wave crashed in the background and the sun was setting as well. One could only endure so much cheesy romance and now Robin was back in the game. He also heard that the only way to get back into it wasn't to ease in, like a fish in a bowl, instead he was going to jump head first like Stahl in a buffet.

Robin had not given up on Cordelia and Lon'qu as neither had changed since the royal wedding. He was definitely going to see those two together because neither had anyone in their lives. Or maybe Lon'qu did and the reason he avoided women was because he was fiercely loyal to his significant other. With this kind of thought, Robin was now his old romance obsessed self and had the tools at his disposal to get his fellow Shepherds together. He would finally be able to continue his 'research' and he honestly missed the feeling of squeezing into barrels or boxes to eavesdrop. By the end of this campaign, the Shepherds were going to be pumpin out the baby gravy and squeezin out the munchkins because never before had the world witnessed such a monstrosity of a man like Robin who was skilled beyond all reasoning in romance.

Cherche and Virion had reported that the Valmese that would be landing in Port Ferox first would be here in about one week. Neither had reported when the actual invasion force would be sent out so the Shepherds had to make haste for the Port and stop the spearhead, then formulate a plan as to what would come next. But small goose steps at a time since the Shepherds would need to win at the harbor before anything else happened.

"Ah heya Robin! Haven't been able to talk to ya fer awhile."

Robin was torn from his thoughts only to be met by Donnel. Robin simply smiled as he greeted his good friend and one time pupil. Back in the Plegia/Ylisse war, Robin and Chrom had trained him to the best of their knowledge and then they directed him to Frederick to finish his training. After the war Donnie stayed at the castle until his training had officially been completed and he returned home to see his Ma.

Donnel had become a folk hero back in his village and his reputation only got infinitely better after he had been recalled to the Shepherds to help in the upcoming conflict. Donnel had basically been praised as a deity and he would force the villagers to spoon feed him the tears of all he disliked or suffer the wrath of the Hero Donnel. Or that's what Robin would think to himself sometimes for a good laugh.

"So Robin, we's headin over to Valm right? Wyvern Valley is over in yon direction idn't it?"

"I believe it is Donnie, why do you ask if you mind me prying a bit."

"Well back in my village I heard from a travelin merchant that a young girl wandered into the valley and put the whuppin of a life time on some poor wyvern. I heard she rode that sucker out and she was only nine years old as well."

"Hm. Don't think I've ever heard of a tale such as that. Maybe you'd be better off asking Cherche as she if a native of Valm and a Wyvern Rider as well."

"Well alright! I'ma hop right on that."

Robin could only watch as Donnie skipped off in hopes that he'd finally know the truth behind the tale he'd heard.

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Toward the end of the first day, Cordelia had spotted a hot springs a little off of the beaten path. Since the day was starting to wane, the Shepherds decided to make camp and have a quick relaxer in the springs. It had been clearly stated that the women would stay in the springs for two hours before they'd leave and then after a thirty minute waiting period, the men would make their way to the springs to have a good soak. But since Fire Emblem Awakening is a Japanese game it only seems right that I adhere to the unwritten rule in Japan that anything related to hot springs go terribly wrong...

"This is a most uncomfortable situation. I don't understand why we all had to accompany each other to the hot spring, I would have much preferred if it had been my treasure Lissa and myself instead."

"You know Maribelle, I think I'm beginning to realize why you still haven't found a man. Your constant company with Lissa, your insistence that only you two be in the springs together..."

The rest of the women had a small chuckle as the Noble woman turned a deep crimson.

"I resent you making such an accusation Olivia! I truly wonder if helping you get past your timid nature was a good idea since you now insist on teasing me."

Everyone had a good laugh at the woman's expense although no one could hear Cordelia laugh as she was currently submerged up to her nose. She had been dragged here by Sumia and when the other women caught site of her, they wouldn't let their claws out of her until she got in with them. So she quickly got in while no one was looking so that her secret of a small bust would remain a secret.

"Cordelia what's wrong? You don't seem to be enjoying yourself here."

Cordelia raised her head up so that her chin was now above the water.

"Of course I'm having a good time! What makes you say that I'm not huh!? You can't prove that!"

All of the women just stared at her for a bit before Nowi broke the awkward silence.

"Hey ladies, I just wanna ask when you all grew your boingy bits since I still don't have mine."

Suddenly the atmosphere was ten times more tense as no woman in the Shepherds was willing to talk about when their breast had started to grow. More that they didn't want to share when it started only to have everyone realize that they had been the late bloomer.

"Well actually, I guess that question was directed more towards Tharja since some people were talking about her boingy bits in camp."

"...who was talking about me exactly, Nowi?"

Tharja had a slight blush on her face as she was thinking that Robin had been thinking of her body and then decided to talk about her around camp since he had finally come to the realization that he loved her. Then they'd embrace, talk only to one another, and eventually he'd take off his pants...

"I think it was some guy from Regnant fox and he was with some big muscle guy with no shirt. Yeah and one said how he bet that your boingy bits were soft as pillows and white as snow!"

Nowi had a very innocent look on her face as he hadn't realized that she'd just sentenced both Vaike and Lon'qu to the gallows. The sad part being that Lon'qu hadn't said a single word in that conversation, rather Vaike was repeating what he'd heard some other people saying about Tharja. If Nowi had listened to the entire conversation, she would have heard the Vaike saying that he didn't think people should talk about that creepy dark mage in a way like that. Nevertheless both were going to die a gory death thanks to Nowi.

As is custom with large gatherings of women, they decided to discuss a topic that would normally be the conversation of slumber parties where everyone gets naked and has a pillow fight.

"Hey guys lets talk about the Shepherds!"

Lissa seemed ecstatic to talk about a seemingly mundane topic.

"Hmm? What about the Shepherds Milady?"

Cherche chirped this out as she was very happy to be bathing even if the women refused to let her dear Minerva join them.

"Okay let me try again. Let's talk about our fine specimen of men that are in the Shepherds!"

All of the women just sat there looking at Lissa as if a risen had just crawled out of her mouth and said 'How do you do?'

"Why not? Why don't YOU start Lissa."

All of the women had smug looks since they figured their secret and very personal feelings were going to be kept secret, as these conversations never ended until all had said their piece. Thanks to Sully and her quip they'd all be safe.

"WELL I am glad you asked Sully. I have always admired Frederick and his well chiseled perfect body under that gallant armor with his silky hair that blows ever so gently in the wind."

Lissa had a dreamy look on her face as she imagined her man. Everyone else was slightly confused since Frederick did have a well toned body, although his armor was more intimidating if anything and his hair never blew in the wind as it was usually clinging to his face due to the intense sweat he'd work up in a fight.

"Oh well I'd say I like Robin! He's is such an attractive man!"

"S-Sumia! You're married to Chrom, you can't be saying that!"

Olivia was very disturbed at this as was many of the other women.

"Teehee. It was a jape everyone, you know I'd never do that to Chrom."

Everyone sighed as they had hoped this was a joke, civil wars had been started for less than petty love triangles before. There was an awkward silence as no one really wanted to speak up about such a sensitive subject.

"Well Nowi, you've got a pretty good blush going, why don't you fill us in on who you're thinking of."

Lissa was all too excited to be able to hear about everyone else and hopefully how they were also in love with a dope who still hadn't caught on to their feelings.

"Weeeell I had heard from Robin that the guys had voted on who they thought was the best looking woman in the Shepherds and he told me to go ask Gaius about his vote in a very suggestive tone. Heehee I was pretty happy to go find him since I already liked him a little, but he still won't budge about who he voted one. He keeps saying that he didn't even cast a vote, but I'm sure he is too afraid to admit to me that he really, really, REALLY likes me. I guess what I'm saying is I think Gaius likes me and I like him too!"

It was too bad that Robin wasn't hiding nearby as the juiciest of details were now coming out, faster than Sumia falling on her face. Once Nowi had gotten it rolling, Lissa and Nowi tried to coerce the other women into sharing what poor bastards trouser snake they wanted to slay.

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While the women were continuing their cluck fest, the men were currently getting ready to make their way to the springs. As soon as the thirty minute safety period had started, the men all began to dress themselves with towels, as they didn't want to be changing in the strange wilderness. Robin knew better than anyone that someone might be trying to sneak peeks since he himself spied on others, although he had morals and would never peek on a woman who was changing. At least not Nowi since he was a little uncomfortable with the fact that she had the body of a teenager. NO! Robin must stay true to himself as he was no pervert and he would never commit such horrid acts! Instead he would just ask someone like Vaike for the details since he was always trying to see some woman bathing.

Regardless, the thirty minute period was up and it was definitely more than safe to head to the springs. The thirty minute wait was Robin's idea since he wanted no accidental peeks, and thirty minutes was ample time for the women to make their way back to camp after either putting on a towel or putting on some clothes. Either way it was time to relax and coax some info from some of his friends for his upcoming schemes to play love doctor for the Shepherds. He was going to grill all single men about their preferences and he was finally going to get back on track.

Soon they were close to the spring, or they assumed they were close since the air was muggy and warm. Although before they got there they heard a myriad of voices that clearly belonged to a group of women.

"OOOOOOH I bet you like Robin don't you!"

This grabbed every mans attention and they quickly exchanged glances. The looks in their eyes told one another that they'd listen to this one bit of intrigue and then make their way back to camp. They all knelt down in hopes that they'd stay out of sight and be able to get the dirt on whoever was talking.

"Come on tell us!"

That voice was obviously Lissa's and it could be deduced that she wasn't the one who liked Robin. Everyone was waiting very impatiently for the mystery woman to speak up.

"Come on I said who I had a thing for! Don't be afraid we're all friends so we'll take it with us to the grave."

That was Nowi. Although Robin was friends with the Manakete he didn't feel comfortable with her being in the body of a teenager so her not having affections for him was a relief.

"Hm although I don't quite grasp the meaning behind questioning each other on our preferences in men, I too will join in the interrogation in hopes of understanding this ritual."

There was Miriel. Robin was actually still trying to work on who could possibly be a good suitor for her. She was always engrossed in research and she hardly spared time for talking. He actually had a few plans in the early stages for getting her close to someone through some kind of joint research.

"...hurry up and answer. I need to know if it is Robin so I know if I need to (mumble)"

That was obviously Tharja with her quiet voice and distinctive tone. It almost sounded like she was saying that she needed to know who she wanted to hex.

"..."

There, they all heard it. A woman had made a low sighing noise as if to signify that she was the woman in question. Based on that noise alone, no one could tell who it was.

"Oh I bet it IS Robin!"

Lissa yet again, ruining the chance to gain critical intelligence. Robin and every man that had been eavesdropping was on pins and needles waiting for the mystery woman to admit who she liked, although based on context, there was a good chance of it being Robin.

"Milord, what are you and the rest of the men doing squatting here?"

All of the men had turned to see that they had forgotten Frederick was a little ways behind them after they had left. Lon'qu had been so startled that he fell forward and when he looked up he was on all fours,face to face with a beet red Cordelia. After a solid three seconds Lon'qu fell forward again, passed out, and the women just stared as he floated to the center of the hot spring, face down. His towel had slid off and instead of making sure he hadn't drowned they just stared in awe.

"Is that a man' ass? Is that LON'QU'S ass?!"

Lissa was in shock as were many of the women, they weren't sure if they should be disturbed that he had been hiding in the bushes or excited that they saw the toned swordsmen and his tight ass.

"I don't understand. Is there a difference between the buttocks of a male man-spawn and female man-spawn."

"Eh well Panne you see, women are supposed to have uh, nice, fluffy bottoms! Yeah that's it, like Tharja and her 'boingy bits' you see."

Lissa was granted a cold glare from the mentioned dark mage and Panne then proceeded to move towards Lon'qu. She then, to everyone's dismay, touched his buttocks with her finger. After prodding the mans butt cheek, she then licked the right one, as if to assess it.

"Would one of you mind if I now assessed the difference between this male and one of your behinds?"

Maribelle had finally regained her composure after having been shocked seeing a man spying on them when Miriel beat her to the punch.

"Yes now that the topic has been brought up, I suggest that we test out the theory that there indeed might be a difference between as Lissa said a 'man's ass' and a woman's."

Robin just couldn't believe what had transpired in the last sixty seconds. It had gone from being caught by Frederick spying on bathing women, Lon'qu almost or for all they knew currently drowning, Panne licking his butt cheek, and now trying to test the difference between men and women behinds.

"LORD CHROM THIS IS BEHAVIOR UNFITTING OF THE KING!"

Frederick had finally come back to after also witnessing the disturbing events and now there would be hell to pay. Whats more was that the women came to the realization that more than Lon'qu had been hiding in the bushes.

All of the men stood up and instinctively backed away from Frederick and his wrath only to realize that they had come into the ladies view.

They all turned and met eyes with each other in what would go down Ylisse's textbooks as the longest moment in history. Then they all began to scream in horror.

"GO AWAY"

"PERVERTS"

"oh Robin, if you wanted to see me like this you just had to ask..."

Aside from Tharja, all of the ladies had begun to shriek. They began throwing rocks, excluding Panne and Miriel since they were unfamiliar with this social situation and Tharja only threw them at people who weren't Robin.

"OW DAMN. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS TREACHERY. LORD CHROM TELL THEM I WAS TRYING TO STOP THIS NONSENSE!"

Frederick tried to quell the assault, to no avail and now the situation was looking bleak.

"Crap! Robin, what should we do!"

Chrom was desperate and Robin had yet to fail him in a tight situation.

And so Robin turned to the opposition who were still hurtling stones in an onslaught that was not going to end anytime soon. He then looked upon his troops who were holding fast against the assault. With fire in his eyes and a will of iron he raised his fist to the sky as if he was going to call upon the mighty tome Aureola itself. He took in a deep breath and spoke to most epic words to have ever been uttered in a battle.

"WE MUST HOLD OUR GROUND! WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP, NOT TO YLISSIANS, PLEGIANS, MANAKETES, AND TAGUEL ALIKE! HOLD FAST MY FRIENDS AND YOU SHALL SEE THAT NAGA HERSELF BLESSES OUR CAUSE AND WILL SEE US THROUGH TO THE END!"

Suddenly the barrage stopped and the women were staring at him with looks that had confusion and anger mixed together. Then most of them shouted in unison-

"NO!"

"Robin! What is the plan now, they seem to be throwing the rocks harder now! OW!"

Chrom was right, it seems that the speech meant to arouse the men had actually given the women a more intense desire to snuff them out.

Then Robin had a smile, the same that he had when he concocted a strategy that would win the battle, or when he saw a pair of Shepherds that he was going to put together, or when he stole the last sweet roll when Gaius had clearly been reaching for it. Yes Robin had the plan that would turn the tide and win this battle.

"Alright men, there's only one thing to do! CHARGE!"

Robin jumped forward into the spring, thankfully with his towel on. Although he miscalculated the trajectory of his jump and he ended up falling onto Lon'qu's unconscious form. Then the Shepherds were regaled at the sight of an unconscious naked man being wrestled around by another naked man until finally Robin rose only to be slapped across the face with the force of a Grizzly that had been woken from its winter slumber.

"YOU LOW BORN FILTH! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON A WOMAN WHO IS SLIGHTLY CONFUSED AND VULNERABLE!"

"Put my hands on? I've only had my hands on Lon'qu and his long swor-"

This was all that he could utter before he received another slap and he fell backwards onto Sully. Then it became a flurry of women screaming and throwing Robin to the next as they tried to leave without exposing themselves to the rest of the onlookers.

Eventually the women had evacuated the spring, some slower than others like Tharja, which left the men of the Shepherds all standing with their jaws as slack as humanly possible.

"Er I think I saw Maribelle naked. Her family is friends with mine, how am I supposed to talk to her or her dad now?"

Ricken's realization then brought the others to very disturbing revelations of their own.

"I think I saw a woman that wasn't Sumia naked. I think, I think I'm going to end up dead before we defeat Walhart."

No one, not even Virion had a quip or witty remark to add as this was a situation that would see them all castrated and tortured.

"Eh well Gregor will make with soaking of himself. He wants to be clean before women make with the killing and ball severing."

With that Gregor plopped down into the spring and spread his arms around the rim. Soon the other men joined as they saw this as a chance to try and wash away their sin and cleanse themselves before they met their end. Libra even held a quick prayer session in which he asked that they all be judged by the gods alone and spared the judgment of the scorned women. After they all had joined Libra in concluding the prayer, they woke a very confused Lon'qu and explained their predicament. After hearing, Lon'qu was now more afraid of women than ever and he joined the silent soaking as he too was afraid to return to camp.

Robin sat in his spot, no longer thinking about his plans to get the Shepherds engaged to each other. Instead he thought of ways to leave camp tonight and about the things he saw that night.

'I saw Lady Maribelle's breasts. I saw them jiggle when she slapped me. Teehee'

Now the men all turned to see the tactician once again giggling to himself madly as they all awkwardly joined in, thinking back on any body parts they may have spotted as well.

**Author's note: TO ALL WOMEN READING THIS. I realize that my personification of women and the things they do when they might be alone with each other is not accurate and I want you to know I mean no offense. This is for comedy so I'm sorry if you feel like I'm degrading women. We all know that you jump into kid pools with baby oil and wrestle each other with white t-shires and short shorts on in your free time with each other. (Just kidding)**

**Also this chapter turned out nothing like I thought it would. The whole hot spring thing was never planned, but I thought it was kind of funny. Sorry if you feel like I wasted your time with this chapter since it only had a little character relationship development and there was that bit with the woman who likes Robin, but I didn't even tell you who it was. That's because I only have a vague idea as to who it might be.**


	6. Chapter 6

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**All credit goes to Nintendo and Intelligent systems for the characters and the support conversations. Also XRahkZorzX now that you mention it that whole hot spring shenanigans was alike like Persona 4. It makes a lot of sense now that you mentioned it since Persona 3 and Persona 4 had the two funniest hot springs bits. So with that being said I have to give credit to Atlus and Index corporations since I feel like I subconsciously took inspiration from Persona 4 the animation. Go watch that by the way, it's pretty good. Thanks to XRahkZorzX for clearing that up.**

Chapter 6: Slang, Poop, and Love

The day after the hot spring incident was a long and awkward day indeed. Chrom had opted to not return to the tent he shared with Sumia the night before, instead he and many others all combined the tarp of their tents to create a larger one, in hopes that the women would not strike while their numbers were high.

The Shepherds continued the march to Port Ferox and it was painfully obvious that there was something amiss as all had a straightened back when crossing paths with the opposite gender and many had started to name these interactions 'Lon'quisms.'

Robin had tried to hide his embarrassment by burying his nose in a book. Although he had enjoyed his accidental peeking, he soon realized that the candle that burns brightest only burns half as long. Meaning that his enjoyment of seeing naked women was short lived in the fact that many of the men would probably end up injured from 'friendly' fire. It just wasn't worth the risk of being mutilated for seeing all of his comrades naked. He tried to distract himself with the book he had been 'reading' for the past hour, although he had been on the same page for that entire hour. He then began to actually read in hopes it would ease his mind.

"Crepuscule, Crepuscule. What did that mean again?"

"Oh Robin, are you studying?"

"Yes I am, …"

Robin immediately pulled a 'Lon'quism' as his back stiffened as well as his face reddening.

"Uh hello, Lady Maribelle. I was just reading up...a bit... on some things."

Robin could barely look at her, let alone any woman in the Shepherds. He wasn't even sure how she had worked up the nerve to start up a conversation with the man that she accused of 'trying to put his hands on a woman who was slightly confused and vulnerable.' Then he immediately saw that this was a simple ruse and that Maribelle had no intention of making small talk, she was actually about to assault him with her parasol or use him as target practice for her tomes since she had recently been promoted to Valkyrie. Robin was no fool and he had determined that the best course of action was to play along as he now had the element of surprise.

"Reading up, how lovely. I hadn't realized the lowborn read at all!"

"Did you drop by to look down your nose at me, or was there _something _else?"

With this, Robin was leaning back a little with his hand brushing up on his tome. He was sure that her blunt insult was the precursor to an attack and so he had tried to be ready for anything. Suddenly she had raised her parasol that she'd been holding in her right hand and let the end rest in her left. Robin misread this gesture as a sign of attack as he then gave the signal.

"AHA! EVERYONE, BANANAS!"

The men had decided that the chances of being ambushed all at the same time was higher so that no man would be able to escape and so they determined that when one was attacked, they'd give the signal to the rest to make a break for it. The designated word had been Bananas since Stahl had been eating one during the team meeting.

Soon anyone that had a penis had either dove off into the bushes or turned around and ran over hill and dale. Robin was the sacrificial lamb as he was the first to be attacked and so he'd die with his dignity in hand as well as a tome.

"I'm sorry darling, but is Banana a new euphemism for bandit or ambush? You lowborn are just so queer sometimes. Nevertheless, a noble's nose engages in no such activities! I was sincerely impressed. If my turn of phrase offended, I apologize. Forgive me?"

This was too confusing for Robin to handle. First Maribelle beats him for calling her 'Hoops for Hair', then she smacks him around for trying to break the line in a nude assault, and now she apologizes to the man that saw the most intimate parts of her body. A strange day indeed.

"Uhhh alright. I take it back. Was there something else you needed or are we done here?"

If Robin never had to talk to Maribelle again it would be too soon. If she wasn't insulting him for being lowborn then she was being all weird with her apologizing. For all she knew, Robin might not even be lowborn he could be the reincarnation of Galle or something and he was the vessel for the Dark Dragon Loptyr. That would be strange and all, being the body of a godly force of evil...

"Yes, I had hoped to learn more about you."

There it was. Maribelle was trying to get the inside scoop on Robin so that the women could all get their revenge on him. Or maybe Maribelle alone was the one who wanted to kill him for looking on her naked form. Although Robin wouldn't mind being beaten by her parasol if she did it while she was naked again.

"Heh heh. Wha- wait. Me? Why me? I'm not that interesting you know."

After regaining composure Robin had tried to play along with Maribelle's ruse again. Obviously she was up to no good and he would be living to see another dawn since many of the Shepherds were still single and his job was to win this war and get his good friends together.

"Can you fault me for being curious about an amnesiac with a genius for strategy? You've also earned quite a bit of trust from my dear friend Lissa. It's only natural that I'd want to learn more about the stranger in our midst. I suppose you simply say that I hoped we could become... friends. Unless you object of course."

This was by far the strangest thing to happen to our tactician and he'd been around the block. He had been recruited after being found face down in a field, seen the 'Hero King of Yore', seen all of his female companions naked, and accidentally hid in the same barrel as Olivia once when he was doing research. Now the woman who'd he had seen nude wanted to be friends. This was seven shades of suspicious and Robin knew he couldn't just shoot her down as this would give the women a reason to hate him more.

"No, I don't object, per se. But... uhh well. Eh... weren't we friends already?"

Robin was trying to keep his distance and keep this woman at bay as well, but neither was working at all as he'd just given her precedence to believe they were friends.

"Oh, I'm pleased to hear you say that, Robin!"

'Oh I bet you are. I bet you'll say that as well when you make me beg for my life. Well I might as well butter her up so that my corpse will be recognizable when the others find it.'

"You really can be sweet sometimes, Maribelle. Well then ask away. If I know the answer, I'm happy to tell it."

'You two timing, blood thirsty witch'

"Oh, lovely! That's very kind. Well, then... Tell me about the quaint customs of the unwashed masses from whence you come? I'm especially interested in this 'slang' that you brutes seem so fond..."

"...I take back what I said, and then I take back the take-back before that."

000000

Three days after the 'Bananas' incident, the Shepherds had squared off with a few bandits and were on their way to Port Ferox again. Donnel had made his way to Robin to tell that he'd talked to Cherche after Robin advised he ask her about the story, but before the hot springs incident. Turns out that Cherche was the one that the story was based on and Minerva was the wyvern that got the 'whuppin of a lifetime.' Donnie seemed all too excited to talk about this story that was really not all too interesting. Robin took note of this and decided to probe Donnel and see if he still had his keen edge.

"Hey Donnie, while we were at the springs, did you see anything at all? Any beautiful magenta haired maidens that ride overgrown newts?"

He still had it.

"What are ya talkin about Robin? What in tarnation is a newt? And what is magenta?"

Robin liked Donnie a lot, but sometimes his lack of education was a bit frustrating. Robin was thankful that Donnie was nowhere near as pig headed as Chrom, where the woman was setting everything up and he'd just completely overlook the signs.

"Um alright. Did you happen to sneak a peek at any red haired rider at the springs?"

"Er well I think I might'a saw Sully. I'm not so sure that I wanted to since Gregor is already trying to talk to her."

That was instantly filed away since Robin had been trying to see them together since the final fight against Gangrel. Now he had to coax the information out of Donnel since Robin was getting nowhere.

"Did. You. See. Cherche. Naked."

Smooth. Apparently Donnel got the message as his face matched the color of Cherche's hair.

"Aw well no, when all that ruckus was goin on I turned away so that I didn't see nothing I shouldn't have."

He was fidgeting a lot and this was definitely uncomfortable for him. Looks like Robin might have another winner on his hands.

"Ah well just making sure because if her Wyvern Minerva had known, she would have eaten you. In fact she tried eating me for much less. Hey maybe you should ask Cherche about how to put the smack down on a wyvern. We might end up in Wyvern Valley and the guy that takes down a Wyvern by himself will be a real lady killer."

Robin was now prodding Donnie's side and raising both eyebrows in quick succession. Donnel's answer was somewhat surprising.

"Well I really don't care too much fer the girls swoonin at my feet right now. I'm usually too busy helpin Cherche and Minerva around camp. After we sorted out that Cherche was the Wyvern subjugatin gal, I asked if I could hang around them so I could learn to be friends with a wyvern."

Definitely surprising as Robin had set the foundation for those two without even knowing it. He was just kidding when he was hassling Donnel as to whether or not he saw Cherche naked. Now Robin had some serious research to conduct later since Donnie apparently helped Cherche out with mending and other chores quite often.

000000

Robin had followed Donnie for awhile until the young man finally seemed to work up the courage to speak to Cherche and apologize for the hot springs. Apparently she didn't mind since she saw that he had turned away and Robin took careful note of the fact that she had specifically picked him out of the crowd.

"Um Cherche, I've finished yer laundry and finished that mendin' from the other day so um here."

Robin was watching this scene until he found himself in the situation that he had mentioned earlier. The top of the barrel he'd been hiding in had been opened very swiftly, but quietly so it didn't alert the two outside. When Olivia jumped in and landed on Robin she didn't scream or even squeak as Robin did nothing as well. Instead they locked eyes in a very strained and awkward silence, remembering the hot springs incident. Suddenly Robin shook his head and sucked it up as he needed to conduct research because when this war was over he needed to have closure in his life. He then peered out of the small hole only to see that both had run off somewhere. Robin then tipped the barrel with Olivia still stuttering and he took careful note that a bag of Wyvern feed was now gone. He could only assume that they'd gone off to feed Minerva.

"I uh, have to pee. So see you."

Yet again another beautifully crafted lie and now Robin sped off in hopes of seeing these two interact.

000000

Yet again, Robin found himself in a familiar situation. Face down in the Wyvern pen, specifically built for Minerva and he learned that wyvern dung smelled far worse than the feces of Pegasus. He slowly crawled forward , approaching Minerva from behind. He had read that Wyverns were never meant to track anything so their sense of smell was nothing to write home about and the smell of feces should be enough to mask his odor.

"...Don't s'pose you'd tell me how ya managed to earn her trust?"

Lame. He was hoping for a confession so he could wrap this up in his book and set up more Shepherds. No matter, eventually he'd just put them together on the battlefield and through blood, sweat, and steel they'd come to care for one another in a fashion that wasn't the relationship that Lon'qu and Cordelia shared. In fact Lon'qu and Cordelia just angered him immensely since they were absolutely no where even though they'd been fighting together in small skirmishes for a little while now. Their story in his book was going to have a very long foot note about how the woman had a deep obsession with a married man and how the man was terrified of anyone with a working set of lady parts.

"Through the same bonds of friendship that made you part of our little group. Don't you notice how close you've become to Minerva?... And to me?"

Oh Donnel you slick dog. He had this in the bag and that was painfully obvious from the last bit tacked onto her statement. Robin was fairly proud of his good friend since he was doing so much better than Chrom...

"Aw, shucks. But yer so pretty and kind, and I'm just a big lug from the sticks... Ya really think we're becomin' friends?"

Just like with Chrom, Robin slammed his face into what was in front of it. Only instead of _clang_ Robin got a good _splat_. Yes he felt extremely stupid having slammed his face into Minerva's dung although he felt the same way that Donnel should have since he liked Cherche, Cherche liked Donnel, Minerva liked beans or something because her dung smelled like she ate a live person with some beans and sewage to create the explosive diarrhea he was now laying in.

"Oh I know we are."

Robin picked his head up to try and see the expression on her face to get more evidence of her feelings for the farm boy. Unfortunately he had to wipe the dookie from his eyes and he already missed whatever face she'd made.

"Gosh, how excitin'! Donnel Tinhead, friends with the famous Wyvern subduer!"

"And the wyvern too..."

Soon their conversation concluded and they went about their business. Robin learned to wait a good five minutes for people to have been gone before leaving himself, in case they needed to return and retrieve something. He'd almost been caught on more than one occasion before he had made this personal rule as Sumia always had to return to get something she dropped after tripping.

He was going to rise and leave when the mark on his hand and forearm got extremely irritated. He then put his face back into the crap as he realized that Minerva had probably been alerted to his presence. If he wasn't avoiding parasols it was Wyverns. He honestly felt that his life was in far more danger in camp than on any battlefield he'd been on so far.

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Robin wished that he'd caught some advice from Cherche on how to subdue a Wyvern. He now had a few cuts that needed to be treated, more for the feces that might get the cuts infected. He also had to come up with a story as to why he had a solid coating of 'mud' on him and why he had so many cuts. When he finally reached the medical tent, he was met with Ricken and Maribelle. Obviously Maribelle was here to take a shift since she was trained in healing arts and Ricken was here for some reason or another. Robin had hoped to spy on their interaction in hopes that he'd pair off another set of Shepherds. Unfortunately the smell that radiated off of him was more than enough to get their attention.

"Well like I said Maribelle, the whole hot spring thing was just a big misunderstanding. So I hope you don't hate me... or tell your dad."

Ricken looked genuinely afraid after mentioning Maribelle's father and that was something to file away if Robin wanted to see them together.

"Oh how could I ever hate you wittle wicken. You're so adorable and I know you'd never try to peek at your good friend Maribelle unlike some people."

She then shot Robin a teasing look and went back to smothering Ricken.

"OW hey I'm not a kid, stop it! Stop would you stop PLEASE!"

Ricken looked desperately at Robin in hopes that he'd help, but Robin had no clue what to do nor would he dare interrupt Maribelle in anything lest he be hit again.

"Okay yes I did peek! Specifically at YOU Maribelle now stop man handling me please!"

"Awww Ricken are we trying to fib about doing naughty things so that we'll be treated like an adult? You're just too adorable, trying to grow up before your time."

Finally Ricken was released from his torment and Robin could get the treatment he needed before he died a miserable and smelly death.

"Lady Maribelle, I need some treatment for some injuries I recently sustained."

"Oh dear, you recently said we were friends didn't you? Just call me Maribelle darling."

'Darling'. Robin's spine crawled at how casually she said that and how they were friends. He was still pretty sure she was going to kill him and she was only helping him so that the pleasure of killing him would belong to her. She then proceeded to clean his wounds after forcing him to throw his cloak outside the tent so that the smell would become tolerable.

"Tell me dear, how could you have possibly gained such grievous injuries when we've yet to fight today?"

"Oh I was uh... out in the woods just... peeing. Then I was attacked by a Risen. And a wolf. A risen that was riding a wolf...after attacking me they... evacuated their bowels...on me."

She only raised an eyebrow at his excuse and continued about her business.

"A question about the material we covered yesterday Robin."

Robin then remembered that he'd given Maribelle some lessons in 'slang.' It was pretty funny since he'd told her a bunch of horribly inappropriate phrases since he was sure she'd never use the language of lowborn in public.

"Ah, you mean about my lessons on the language of the great unwashed?"

"Precisely, yes. I immediately set about to practice what you'd taught me, but..."

The smile melted from his mouth as he began to realize that in order to practice she would have needed to use it on other people.

"...Well, everyone I spoke to looked askance, or avoided eye contact altogether. Others contorted with glee, as if they were stifling laughter."

Just as he feared.

"Wait, you used that slang? Out loud? In public?"

Robin felt another beating on the horizon.

"If you hope to communicate with a person, you must first speak their language, no? And the quickest way to internalize new knowledge is to put it into practice!"

"Yeeeees, both of those are technically true. But Maribelle, when we talked I... um. Look I'm just going to be completely honest Yeah? The examples I taught you are reserved for intimate friends."

"What!? You knew this and didn't tell me? Did you hope to ruin me?! Wait... so when I told Chrom he was 'a right bit'a fruit'...? You mean to tell me that was inappropriate?"

_Hack, Cough_

Robin knew that he was knee deep in Minerva dung for the second time in one day and he was just screwed.

"I'm sorry! It was all in good fun yeah? I never thought you'd actually-"

"One moment. If you taught me this slang, then you must consider us intimate friends?"

Maribelle seemed to soften at this and Robin needed to play off of it if he was going to live.

"Uh... Yes! Of course we are! We're as intimate as uh Pirates and their booty!"

"I'm afraid I had no idea! I'm flattered Robin, truly. In that case, I ought have begun my practice with you. Forgive me."

'Forgive me' Things were taking a turn for the stranger, but Robin wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Er well sure I can forgive you if you can find it in your heart to forget that I happened upon you and the other women in the springs."

He was sure that he'd played that one nicely and that he'd be home free.

"Oh _Darling_, I'm sure you realize that I forgive you, but it will take something a little more to make me forget. After all you did tell me intimate slang that I then used on other people. Maybe if you'd come have tea with me sometime we might be able to talk this over _Yeah_?"

Robin had recently become aware of the fact that when he was put into a really tight spot he'd tack on the word yeah at the end of his sentence. Now Maribelle took joy in making fun of his grammar quirk and in the fact that he'd be forced to have tea with the woman who he was most afraid of in order to have her forget his little blunder at the springs.

"Of course Maribelle. Tea with you sounds great. Hehehe. Ha...ha."

"Awright then, pet? Everythin' luvverly jubberly, ain't it? 'Ave a bit'a rabbit?"

"MARIBELLE! Stop PLEASE! I can literally hear everything you stand for screaming and dying in agony! Look I'll clear things up with everyone. Okay? I'll take the blame. Just please, please, PLEASE promise you'll NEVER talk like that again."

She just had a crooked grin after this.

"Well, I SUPPOSE if it's that important to you..."

"Thank you"

"Hey, no skin off my arse, is it? I'll shut me north and south!"

"I... definitely did not teach you whatever in the gods names that was. Damnation! Who has done this to you Maribelle?! WHO?!"

"Hm-hm! I'm afraid THAT is my little secret..."

They both went to their respective tents since it had gotten somewhat late after their little conversation. Today was the most queer day that Robin had experienced, as he'd said before. Now he had to have tea with a vicious woman who was probably plotting to tear his throat out right now. Or maybe she was going to poison his tea?! Or maybe she was just being nice to him. PSHAW! Like that would ever happen, I mean why would Maribelle, or for that matter any woman be nice to a man for no apparent reason. Obviously since Robin's genius mind could not decipher why a woman was being overly nice to him, he simply ignored it and wrote down the events of today involving Cherche and Donnel into a journal he started. Hopefully once the Shepherds were all married off, he'd publish the journal in order to immortalize himself as the man who got the legendary heroes of... legend... to marry each other.


	7. Chapter 7

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: I might have the campaign in Valm take a month or two between each mission in order to get the first generation characters together and also take that time to find the children. I'm hoping to have all the kids before they confront Walhart.**

Chapter 7: Confessions part 1 By Maribelle feat Robin

The Shepherds had finally neared Port Ferox and now Robin was fine tuning his plan since scouts had just recently returned with intel on the enemy. Virion was correct in saying they had elite cavalry and not only that, they had an abundance of armor knights for support. Thankfully the port had plenty of narrowed streets so bottling up the cavaliers would be easy enough and with the Shepherds magic capability, Robin included, they hopefully be able to take out the knights swiftly. It would be a battle decided on how quickly they were off the draw, and a little luck in being able to take out as many cavaliers as possible before they started to overwhelm the soldiers in front that were to protect the mages.

Robin would continue his match making plan in this battle as well with pairing some suitable Shepherds together. He refused to give up on Cordelia because every time Robin had to hear her say the word sigh instead of actually sighing, he'd feel a small portion of his brain die in annoyance. So she'd be on duty with Lon'qu in flying over the streets to pick off lone riders and fly back over to get healing support from Lissa. The same would be done with Chrom and Sumia since they were a fairly powerful duo now. Kellam and Panne would be holding off the choke point right where they'd be entering the port. Miriel and Ricken would be behind Kellam and Panne picking off all armored knights so that Panne could focus on her specialty of killing cavaliers. Donnel and Cherche would split off to the left and deal with the cavaliers and Paladin that had been spotted there. Now Robin needed to find a tome wielder to pair himself with and...

"Hey Bubbles."

Instantly Robin felt that he was going to have an aneurysm. If it wasn't that scarlet haired woman saying 'sigh' it was the thief and that ridiculous nickname. You'd think someone like Robin would get a cooler name like 'Billy Badass' or 'Rockhard abs Robin' or something like... 'Fluffles'. Regardless he wasn't sure where Bubbles came from and it was starting to bother him.

"Hello Gaius, what do you need?"

"Well I know how much you like to read and I saw this strategy book in town..."

"Look Gaius, for the LAST time I'm going to tell you, I DO NOT care about your secret, in any way, shape, form, or fashion. I will also NOT, I repeat NOT tell anyone about what I saw. Are we clear?"

"Oh I see, books aren't going to make the cut, eh? Well lucky for you I found a traveling merchant that was selling these little candies shaped like-"

"Please Gaius, I'm trying to work on the strategy for the upcoming battle."

"Actually about that Bubbles. I was hoping you could put me in this fight, I need to get some battlefield experience."

At this Robin was befuddled since Gaius seemed more than happy to avoid the fighting and keep to picking locks. Then a devious grin passed over his face.

"So Gaius, I see that your trying to become a vital part of the fighting force to impress some lady. Well lucky for you-"

"No."

"Are you sure becau-"

"Yes."

Robin blinked for a little bit to make sure it was Gaius standing before him. It was one thing to ask to put him on the front lines, but then to answer him so bluntly and in one word responses well that... that just wasn't right.

"Can I ask why you want this?"

"Well I pride myself on picking locks and all, but lets be honest here Bubbles, chests don't just come flying onto the battlefield for me to open. I'd like to do something until we can find some chests and training to be an assassin or something would be cool. Besides I don't need to be a killing machine to get the ladies, they come flocking to Gaius like flies to cow plop."

Okay that sounded a little bit more like Gaius, although the bit about comparing himself to cow dung was definitely out of character.

"Well alright, I could use some soldiers on the right side to protect the support troops from the soldiers coming around the barricades. I'll have you working with... hmm Nowi, I guess."

"Bubbles seriously? That girl hasn't stopped bothering me about the group vote for the best looking lady Shepherd for days now. I don't need her pulling that in the fight."

"I'm well aware of her capability in combat, don't worry she'll remain focused. If not you could just tell her that you voted for her, that would probably get her to calm down."

"...whatever so long as she doesn't get me killed."

With that Gaius left and now Robin had a few more things left to do.

"Ah yes I need to pair myself off with a tome wielder so that there will be enough to help those on the front lines. Let's see, there is Tharja..."

There were very strange rumors going around that Tharja was stalking Robin very openly. Robin ignored these as just mess tent talk until he got the feeling like he was constantly being watched. Soon this feeling followed him to his tent, when he bathed, when he was doing 'research'. Robin couldn't help but feel like people were just saying it was her since they were wary of her being a dark mage and a Plegian. He just didn't feel like such a seemingly nice lady would follow him around of all people as he wasn't a very interesting person. Although he had planned on acting off of the whole wedding scene when he saw her staring at Vaike. Now that he was really thinking about it, maybe she was stalking Vaike instead of him since Robin did hang around Vaike a lot. Yeah that made much more sense than her just stalking Robin.

"... hmm, since both Cordelia and Sumia went for Falcon Knight, the only other tome wielder we have at the moment would be Maribelle..."

**FLASHBACK**

_Robin sat in Maribelle's tent with tea in hand and sweat falling profusely from his face. This was his first tea session with the woman and of course he feared it would also be his last. It had been a few days since the hot springs, but as we all know revenge is a dish best served cold... or nude. Anyway Robin was anxious, sitting here with this woman. The same one that assaulted him, the one he saw naked, the one that treated him and comforted him after his failed operation in Plegia..._

_Now that Robin thought of it, she was the one of the many to do that, but he remembered hers above all others because back then she was still fairly inaccessible due to her personality. He decided that he'd ask her about that before she killed him._

"_Maribelle, can I ask you about something?"_

"_If it is within my power to answer it, I shall do my best."_

"_Do you remember back in Regna Ferox, when you were there in my room. You tried to make me feel better about failing the mission and all so I was wondering... what was that all about?"_

_She put her cup down and gave a devious grin that had Robin looking desperately to the exit. _

"_Isn't it normal for friends to come to the others aid in their time of need?"_

"_... I honestly didn't think we were friends until just recently."_

"_How rude! I must say you need to work on your behavior and sensitivity for a woman's feelings!"_

_Robin's shoulders sagged and his face dropped at this._

"_You've called me lowborn for some time now and your first impression of me didn't give you the best image of me from what I remember. Personally I've always felt that you just never liked me in general."_

"_...Is that true? You truly feel like I never liked you because of how I acted? Is that how abrasive and dreadful a person I am to everyone? If that is how you feel then you can take your leave now."_

_Robin knew he'd struck some cord because he heard Maribelle's voice cracking and she now looked like she was choking back tears, along with avoiding eye contact altogether. Every day it seemed like he was being forsaken by some supernatural force like Naga, or Dark magic, or maybe the NHK. Regardless, there was now a woman that was on the verge of tears thanks to Robin and it wasn't like him to leave a fellow Shepherd in such a state. _

"_If something is wrong you can tell me about it."_

"_YOU Robin YOU'RE what is wrong! You're just like everyone else, judging me because I'm not well versed in talking to others! This is why I told Lissa not to make me speak to the other Shepherds, I told her not to! Now you're all going to treat me the same! I wanted Lissa to be my only friend because I knew she would never do this to me!"_

_...And now there was a woman sobbing in her tent with Robin sitting across from her, trying to piece together what she said. Apparently some people had judged her for being a little... unfriendly and Robin assumed it must have been kids from her childhood as she said that she didn't want to talk to the Shepherds in case this kind of thing happened again. He had to try and do something again, but he was hesitant since when he tried that ten seconds ago it ended with Maribelle in tears._

"_Um I didn't really judge you, I just decided that maybe..."_

"_Don't lie to me! I know you did and you still do, you have avoided me in camp since we first met and you made me the butt of jokes with your ridiculous name for me! I tried my best to approach you, but you just run away under the guise of studying!"_

_There was too much going on for Robin to be able to assess this situation and react properly. It had gone from awkward tea party to full on tears in tea confession. Robin had no idea what to do at this point since both attempts at consoling her had failed miserably._

"_Why Robin, why?"_

"_...why what, exactly?"_

"_Why do you hate me? Why does everyone hate me as well?"_

"_No one hates you, I don't either it's just well, like I said I thought you never liked me with how you acted and all, yeah?"_

"_How was I supposed to act any differently, that was how I was raised to be! I never had any friends when I was a child so I never knew how to do such a thing, the only reason that Lissa is now with me is because she was the one who approached ME!"_

"_..."_

"_*sob**gasp*"_

"_..."_

"_...*sniff*"_

"_..."_

_DAMN! Robin needed to do something about this. He was the one who set off this display of tears and now it seemed like Maribelle had given up on making friends within the Shepherds._

"_...why are you still*hic* here?"_

"_I believe you said that it is normal for a friend to come to the other in their time of need. I guess we could start with the story behind all of this. That is, if you'd like to tell me."_

_The next thirty or so minutes was the story of how Maribelle had a horrible time making friends as a child. He parents were adamant about teaching her the finer points of Noble life which never included relevant facts on how to be sociable. As such she never had friends and came off as rude so the others would make her the focus of japes and taunts. Then Lissa came along and decided to be her friend regardless what anyone, even what Maribelle said. Eventually Lissa had convinced her to join the Shepherds when Chrom still had it in the early stages and even after all that the Shepherds had been through, Maribelle still had a hard time approaching most of them. She even said that she had tried her best to befriend Robin himself since Lissa was such a good friend of his, but he was always ducking out on her. In fact, her slang lessons were also an attempt to become closer to the tactician so they'd become fast friends._

_Robin felt like there was one word for what he was at this particular moment. Jackass. He felt like a grade A, pure, one hundred and ten percent Jackass. _

"_Listen Maribelle, I'm sorry for all that I've done. I never realized that you were trying so hard to be my friend. I'd love to be your friend from here on out and I'll even help you out if you ever try to approach any of the other Shepherds. How does that sound?"_

"_...*sniff*Well I must say that being around your good friend Maribelle has turned you into more of a respectable Gentleman. I'd love if you'd do that for me, **yeah**?"_

_Thankfully she seemed to be back to her old self with her some what condescending attitude and teasing of his grammar._

"_Well **Darling**, I'm glad you feel that way, but I was always a gentleman for your information. Well I'm glad that we settled this, but I need to go and speak with Chrom and Frederick about the harbor attack so I'll be off."_

_Robin heaved a heavy sigh as letting her explain her situation had made him late for his strategy meeting, but it was for her sake so he was very happy to lend a hand. Whats more was that it seemed all of the weird, awkward feelings that had resided between them were now gone. Robin felt like he'd just made a very good friend and only good things could come out of this..._

**FLASHBACK END**

Well I guess this would be a very good chance to get closer to my good friend Maribelle and keep Tharja closer to Vaike as well. Hm that settles it, now the plan is complete. I'll go get Chrom and Frederick so we can confirm it and then get this show on the road.

000000

The battle for the port went exactly as Robin hoped, with the cavaliers falling prey to Cordelia and Sumia and the mage groups picking off armored knights and cavaliers from behind Kellam and Panne. Not only that, but Gaius was able to get some of the experience he wanted on the frontlines as he was able to confront some cavaliers and Nowi was there to back him up when knights came around. All in all, it was a victory for the Shepherds.

"Chrom we need Plegia's help if we are to stop Valm's invasion."

Robin knew Chrom would be against it, but it was the only logical choice and no one was sure if the new king was even a malicious person like Gangrel. It wouldn't hurt to try and get their help.

"No absolutely not!"

"Chrom we need the ships that Plegia can give us! We've got a farts chance in the wind without them."

Khan Basilio never failed in being crude, but effectively serious at the same time.

"The oaf is right. Crude, but right. We need those ships Chrom."

"Chrom believe me. I want to do this no more than you, but without their naval power, all that we've done, the war with Plegia included, will have been for naught."

Robin knew that Chrom definitely couldn't turn that down. It was simple, they needed to get those ships, or end up dying on the ends of the Valmese spears.

"...fine. We'll go to Plegia now and request their aid."

As they all turned to leave, Robin's forearm started to hurt again as well as his head. Something about going to Plegia made his head hurt for some reason or another...

000000

A farts chance in the wind. Robin just couldn't get over how funny that was. He also couldn't figure out how Lon'qu could work for someone so funny and still be a total sour puss. Speaking of Lon'qu, Robin overheard him asking Cordelia why she came to his aid in the last battle and she simply said that he looked like he needed the help. Then he said he'd like to settle the debt soon so she'd think of what she wanted. It was no where near what Robin had wanted from those two and he was close to giving up on those two ever seeing each other in a romantic sense.

After being thoroughly disappointed by Lon'qu and Cordelia, Robin went to the field where the Shepherds were to train while on the road. They'd left from the port only one day ago and weren't exactly making great time to Plegia since most weren't ecstatic to be going there.

Robin was going to observe the Shepherds and their new abilities so he could put them to use in any upcoming battles. Instead he saw Panne seemingly talking to a tree. Then he realized that Kellam was there when he started talking as well. Robin definitely wanted in on that action so he carefully made his way over there.

"You think that because the tactician puts us together in fights, you can ask me to spar man-spawn?"

"N-no it's just that I was going to ask if you wanted to spar so that-"

"No."

"Well if it's because you can't find a sparring partner then I'd be glad to-"

"When I fight it is to the death. I'm not interested in playing at war."

This little tit for tat exchange continued until Kellam finally convinced Panne into sparring with him. She was very careful in constantly emphasizing the fact that she would probably kill him if they sparred, but Kellam seemed very insistent. Robin wasn't sure if there was something here to see besides the fact that Kellam was trying to get Panne more involved, but Robin was going to keep at it with them.

"Hyah, Elwind! Yah, Fire! You're awfully quiet over there, Miriel. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen you practicing spells. So, I guess you just read and think? A lot?"

Robin was torn from Panne knocking Kellam around like a person kicking a tin can when he heard Ricken talking to Miriel. He had missed some of the conversation when he saw Miriel pull out two metal objects and submerse them in a glass of water.

"THUNDER! Success! How pleasant."

"Whoa! They both look like the same metal now. How'd you do that?"

Robin zoned out again as he simply observed the two interact with each other. He didn't note any sort of romantic interest in each of them, but he knew these things didn't happen overnight. They'd take time and sometimes a little push or heartfelt confessions while drinking tea...

"So does that experiment that you just did have any sort of combat application Miriel?"

"None whatsoever."

"Oh. That's kind of... weird."

Weird it was. But what was even stranger was earlier when Nowi had walked by and his eyes instantly began watering. When he had asked her what she was doing she simply said she was trying to have more poise. He'd have to do more research on that later, but for now he was going to go back to his tent and draw out some more romance plans.


	8. Chapter 8

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

Chapter 8: Robin, I AM your father!

It was so strange. That hierophant had the same face as Robin, the same name in fact. What was more queer was what he'd said to Robin.

… _the heart still sleeps, but the blood flows through it. And the blood is strong..._

Robin just couldn't sleep since he'd met that man and Validar. Robin was the Shepherds tactician, the Grandmaster of Ylisse, and straight up hardcore ladies man so he could easily pick up on signals. Both Aversa and Validar were adamant about talking to him and emphasizing the fact that the Shepherds and that hierophant would meet again soon. What was more disturbing was that Robin recognized the patterns on Validar's clothing because it was the same design that was on his trademark cloak, but more importantly, the mark on his arm. Now Robin was extremely unsettled by the fact that in his past life he may have been a Grimleal and if that hierophant was important to that religion and was possibly related to Robin himself, Robin may have been high ranking in their system as well. All of this was terrorizing Robin to the point that he wouldn't make romance plans because he wasn't sure if he was doing of his own volition or if he was a sleeper cell and the Grimleal wanted those specific Shepherds together for some devious reason that would eventually lead to the downfall of the Shepherds and...

_Robin. Robin my boy, come to me..._

Robin immediately rose from his cot, tome in one hand and other hand resting on the hilt of his sword. To be honest, he'd been expecting one of the three Plegians to come for him and now they were making their move. Or so he thought. He looked around his tent, listening for anything abnormal, but he was met with nothing.

_Robin, heed my call..._

There it was again. Only this time Robin had been waiting for it and he now realized that it was in his head. More importantly, his arm was now agitated once again and was glowing slightly. Robin didn't really have a choice, if he stayed in his tent he'd go insane so he decided to take a quick walk in hopes of the voice in his head going away. He stepped into an open field to think and maybe get back on track with his plans. Cordelia had somehow gotten Lon'qu to tutor her in fencing which did not look that special to him. Panne and Kellam sparred a little more often, with Kellam being crushed like a can. Miriel and Ricken were now completely consumed with their experiments when they weren't in battle and strangely enough Frederick was teaching Lissa the ax so she could become a War Cleric and she was teaching him to slack off. Sully and Gregor might not work after all since Sully had it out for Gregor since he'd bested her in a spar. It was fairly obvious that Nowi had eyes for Gaius and although he tried to act like she was nothing more than an annoyance, Robin could see that he enjoyed the time that Nowi spent with him, despite the conversation usually looping back to the vote of the prettiest lady Shepherd. Vaike always seemed to be talking to Tharja even though she never looked happy about it, then again when did she look happy. Cherche and Donnel were almost a complete project, the latest news being that Cherche gave him a ride on Minerva and Robin had cleverly hidden himself in the wyvern stall, this time no where NEAR any feces. When they got back it was an awkward festival of small talk of furious blushing with little to no eye contact. Safe to say, it was going good. What really surprised Robin was that rumor had it Virion was giving Olivia dance lessons and since that started, Virion's proposal rate per day had decreased by what Robin figured to be about 75%. It was nice since Olivia was such a sweet woman, despite what Maribelle said about her jokes.

Maribelle... Robin didn't know what to do with that woman. He actually didn't have any plans for her before since she showed no interest in any person besides Lissa and obviously Robin wasn't going to try his hand at the love that dare not speak its name. The only person she actually said she'd been interested in was Robin himself, but that was a professional thing since he was an amnesiac tactician and she was curious. That and Robin was good friends with Lissa so it seemed reasonable that Maribelle would want to be friends with him as well. Maybe he'd have to try and get some information on that during his next Aristocrat lesson or their next tea time. Speaking of tea, she said that she had a delightful new flavor for them to try and Robin had to say that she was spoiling him rotten and he loved it. Robin would have to try hard to get her hitched as he had come to like her a lot recently and she was truly a nice lady...

_Why do you reject his calling Robin? Why do you close your heart to him?_

A spectral image of Validar appeared before him.

"Validar?"

_Have you truly forgotten? _

"You, get out of my head!"

With this Robin had his Elfire tome raised and ready only to have his head and hand lurch in pain.

_Such arrogance. You'd take that kind of tone... with your own father?_

Suddenly a malicious smile crept across Validar's face like he'd just let out a silent fart and everyone could smell it, but no one knew it was him.

_You are of my flesh, but of sacred blood. You are to serve a glorious purpose._

"HEY ROBIN!"

Suddenly Chrom's voice tore him from his conversation.

_Why do you help the servants of Naga? ...no matter, in time you will see the truth. Give yourself to Grima my son. Remember your purpose..._

"Robin what in the seven hells is going on?"

"...I saw Validar. He said I was his son. Chrom, listen I don't think you can trust me anymore."

"Yes just like I can no longer ask Sumia to bake me pies just because we're married and she let go of herself. Seriously Robin do you hear yourself?"

"Listen to me! The mark on my arm, the design on my cloak, and even that hierophant! It seems obvious that I'm of Plegian descent and I think I'm some vital cog in their design..."

Suddenly Frederick approaches from nearby, sprinting with his armor on and spear in hand.

"Lord Chrom, Sir Robin, there are Risen closing on us and fast. We need to hurry and set up some kind of defense, these Risen are organized and it seems highly unnatural given their past behavior. I think that those Plegians set this up especially after all of their obvious remarks of 'danger' on these high roads."

"_Kill...Exalted...One"_

"...We'll talk about this later Chrom, Frederick. For now I'll devise a quick strategy while you gather the rest of the Shepherds."

000000

Right before the battle started the Shepherds recruited a Silver haired PLEGIAN dark mage named Henry. He was a strange one that loved death, blood, and forest animals. This meant he was no longer on the suitor list for Maribelle. Then it was discovered that Chrom had run off with 'Marth' after she had saved Chrom. Sumia and Robin followed them only to find them embracing with Marth crying. Sumia was furiously tearing petals off of flowers with tears welling up in her eyes. THEN after a good crying session from Sumia, it was revealed that Marth was actually their daughter Lucina from the future. Robin had a feeling that something like this was the explanation behind 'Marth' and her knowledge of future events, but could never really act on it since she always disappeared. After all of this there was one last thing that topped off the list of odd things to happen that night. Robin had found Cordelia and she seemed to be looking for someone...

"Oh Cordelia, looking for something?"

"More someone than something. I need to make sure he's alright especially after this last fight."

Robin sighed internally as he figured she cared only for Chrom and his well being above even her own.

"Don't worry Cordelia, Chrom is just fine and he's on his way back to camp right now. You can give him your report then if you like."

Then came the part that scared the hell out of him.

"What? No I'm not talking about Chrom, I need to make sure Lon'qu is alright. I was looking for him before the fight broke out so we could team up, but I couldn't find him. Tell me, is he alright? Have you seen him?"

Robin was now supremely confused. Usually Cordelia would go to Chrom after every battle to give a 'report' so that she could talk to him. Now she completely blew Chrom off, instead focusing on Lon'qu. Maybe that talk with Validar had Robin's head spinning so he wasn't hearing this right.

"_Sigh_, I hope Lon'qu is alright. I don't know what I'd do if he died on me now."

She said the word sigh again although in conjunction with Lon'qu and his well being instead of Chrom. This was by far the most queer thing to happen all night, the night that Robin talked to Validar, learned of his heritage, recruited a blood fetish mage, and met Chrom's daughter from the future. Robin felt that Cordelia having eyes for someone that wasn't Chrom definitely took the number one slot for the weirdest thing to happen.

000000

Despite the attack in Plegia, Validar had given Ylisse and Regna Ferox the ships needed to head over to Valm and take the fight to them. Now the Shepherds were marching back to Port Ferox and today was just another average day in the Shepherds.

"Oy Sullykins."

Robin fell flat on his face after hearing that. He figured that Sully would put the beat down on Gregor, especially after the rumor going around about their spars.

"...stop calling me that."

He waited. And waited. Waited a little more. Robin then came to the conclusion that Validar must have transported him to an alternate dimension where everyone's personalities were reversed, where Cordelia was obsessed with Lon'qu and Sully took crap from other people.

"Ho ho! You no like name Sullykins? But name suits you. Very ladylike."

"There's nothing ladylike about it, you flea ridden old goat!"

Never mind, it appears that Sully was waiting for a more opportune time to insult Gregor. Robin could only wonder what their sparring sessions could have resulted in if Gregor could call Sully Sullykins and she doesn't kill him.

"We are friends are we not. There is no need to make with the blushings."

...Now Robin was back to the alternate dimension theory since he was sure that Sully could out drink every Shepherd, kick all of their asses, and she didn't blush.

"I'm not.. blushing."

Seriously does it never end? First Cordelia and now this?

"You know real reason, yes Sullykins?"

Great now Robin had missed some of the conversation.

"Sully secretly in love with Gregor!"

"You say that again and I'll shove my sword so-"

That sounded like Sully, but it didn't look like it since she had a face that was redder than her hair. This entire situation was just weird. Weirder than that time Robin saw Donnel without his pot on.

"You have insulted me and my honor for the last damn time!"

"And if Sully loses? Then what?"

"Then that life and honor are yours to do with what you will."

...That could be taken the wrong way in so many ways. Of course this was interesting in the fact that Sully didn't show that much disdain for Gregor, more a healthy rivalry mixed with that blushing that had Robin very hopeful.

000000

As Robin was taking a walk, he saw Donnie in the distance with a large metal ring. It looked like it could fit on a wyvern. Suddenly Robin knew he had to tail Donnie to see what was transpiring. Thankfully, Cherche and Minerva had come across Donnie not much later than Robin did. Robin was seriously hoping that all that blushing and nervous small talk was because he was nervous around Cherche, but that giant ring had Robin thinking otherwise. Donnie wouldn't actually get close to the wyvern rider so he could get close to the Wyvern itself right? RIGHT?!

"Did you say that was a present for Minerva?"

"I'm givin' it to her as a symbol of the friendship that growed between us!"

That better be the only thing you're givin' to the wyvern.

"Donnel, this is a bit upsetting... Minerva gets a present, but I don't?"

"Actually I got one for you too... Ain't quite as big obviously."

Robin let out a large sigh as he had finally completed yet another marriage in the Shepherds. He simply watched this proposal play out. He took careful notes so he could record this in his journal and as he got up to go he heard them say something a little disturbing.

"Hey look its Minerva. Now I can give her the ring."

"Minerva dear, what's wrong? You seem upset."

Suddenly the mark on his arm was hurting again and he knew what was coming next.

"AHH MINERVA NOOOOOOOO"

000000

"Robin Darling, you really should have others accompany you when you go to... relieve yourself in the woods. You've been attacked by these Risen riding wolves yet again."

Robin was back in the Medical tent with his friend Maribelle patching him up after who knows how many wyvern assaults, attacks by angry horses, or misfires from Nowi's fire breath.

"Well regardless of that, thank you again for fixing me up Maribelle. I really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure darling. Will you be joining me for tea and lessons again today."

"Mmmm well I actually need to go and talk to Olivia about something. I might be able to join you later though."

Robin felt like to holes were being bored into his head and soon saw that the source of it was an angry looking Maribelle.

"Oh you prefer Olivia's company to mine?"

"Uh no, but I need to talk to her about something very important, yeah."

"I assume it has something to do with a strategy or some such business, correct?"

Robin was a little baffled by her strange behavior after the mention of Olivia.

"Er no, it's just ah, personal business."

"Something too intimate to share with your friend?"

Obviously Robin wasn't going to divulge his whole marry off the Shepherds plan, especially since Maribelle was friends with Lissa and if she ever found out, everyone would find out.

"Well yeah I guess it is. Don't worry though, it's nothing that really concerns you so it's nothing to worry about."

Robin was sure that would set her mind at ease. Instead he was met with a strange looking stare and Maribelle simply left in a bit of a hurry.

"Cordelia has eyes for Lon'qu, Donnel almost marries a Wyvern, and now Maribelle acts all weird when I go to see other women. Curiouser and curiouser."

000000

Robin had just left the mess tent and he was going to turn in a little early since the day before they were attacked in the middle of the night by those Risen. As he made his way to his tent he saw that Lissa was standing on the men's side of the camp. More importantly, she set herself in motion when she saw him.

"Hey Robin whatcha doin?"

He was leaning back with his arms stretched forward to prevent any monkey business.

"I was just heading to my tent to turn in after all that business yesterday. Why do you ask Lissa?"

"Well I heard some rumors that you were seeing someone and I thought I'd get your story before I go spreading it around."

She smiled at this with her little giggle since she knew that if she didn't like the story, she'd just change it to make it sound better for everyone.

Robin just blinked with no words coming to mind. He wasn't sure how anyone could think that he was seeing a woman since all of his time was spent making strategies, reading strategies, doing 'research', spying of conversations, and spending time with Maribelle. Oh now he understood.

"You mean Maribelle right? I guess I understand that since I spend so much time with her and all, but I seriously doubt she'd go for that. I guess you can go ahead and squish that rumor."

"You know, that _wasn't_ who I was talking about."

Robin could only raise an eyebrow to this.

"You see Maribelle came to me wondering if there were any rumors of you and some lady going around camp so I assumed that you told her something during one of your many talks. I asked her about it and she finally came around, telling me that she doesn't want some strumpet taking advantage of her _friend._"

She let out that friend part with a sing song voice so he assumed that it meant Maribelle didn't think of him as a friend or something. EGADS! She WAS poisoning his tea!

"You make it sound like she doesn't see me as a friend oooooor... _something._"

"Heehee. No Robin I don't think she wants to be your friend. I think she wants something a little more. I'm sure that she thinks you were talking to Olivia about intimate things and it made her _jealooooous._"

Wait, what?

Robin found himself staring into his journal with all of his records of his fellow Shepherds and their romantic interactions. He also found that in this book there was no entry with himself or Maribelle. He'd never stopped to think about his future after this war or marriage or anything really. Hearing that Maribelle was jealous of him talking to another woman made him think. Chrom had a daughter in this timeline and one from the future as well. Robin wanted that as well. He now realized that he wanted that life, to be a father, to have a wife, to feel her embrace each night, to see Maribelle on their wedding day. Wait, Maribelle?

Maybe, maybe that was it. He'd been playing match maker for sometime and he'd never put any thought into his own love life. And after his little daydream about parenthood and marriage, it became vividly clear who he wanted to be with. Despite all of the shenanigans they'd been through they still had a working friendship. Even though she used to think he was a lowborn brute, he had made up the 'hoops for hair' name, she was there for him after Emm's death, he saw her naked in the springs, she was the one to usually patch him up after his research went wrong, and she had confessed some of her innermost feelings to him. Now she was jealous at the thought of him talking to other women and he had daydreams of his children, with her as his wife.

This was it. Robin had finally come to his senses. Not only would he help his fellow Shepherds find love, Robin himself would have his day as well. He was going to take life by the horns and get his woman.

Robin was excited at his new revelation and he decided, why wait? He was going to find Maribelle and propose now, hell he'd do it without the ring!

He ran full speed through camp until he found himself outside of her tent. He was going to go in there and sweep his woman off of her feet and maybe even show her a night to never forget.

With a goofy grin plastered to his face, he went to enter her tent when all of a sudden he found that he couldn't do it. What if she says no? What should he even say? What if she would have said yes if he had a ring, but now she would say that he WAS a lowborn brute for even thinking of proposing without a ring?

He stood wide eyed in front of her tent when he finally saw why Chrom, Donnel, Sumia, Cordelia, and just about every other person in history had problems confessing love to others. He was afraid of the unknown and now our tactician was on his way to becoming a man. Not only had he fallen in love, he now understood the fear and joy that comes with that feeling. Of course, now he had to find a way to confess or risk losing her. Ah yes, the joys of youth and love. Validar would be so proud of his son right now...


	9. Chapter 9

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: I feel like a total douche when I can't marry off some of the characters which is a fact that hopefully most of us know. In my lunatic+ file the three first gen characters that aren't married are Henry, Libra and Stahl, but maybe I'll bend it so that one of them marries Say'ri or something. As for the kids, the one that hasn't married is Nah and one reason is that the support I like best for her is Male Morgan and I think I might have it to where he ends up in this universe somehow along with Female Morgan. I don't know yet, but I feel like such an asshole when I see Stahl, Henry, Say'ri, Libra, Basilio, Flavia, and Anna single and alone. I also feel like Tiki would only marry the male avatar so I'm debating on trying to get her with someone else. Sorry for the long ass authors note.**

Chapter 9

Robin was in the strategy tent which was just a tent with the world map in it. Yes, the Shepherds were very clever when naming things like the medical tent was so fondly referred to as the 'Heal Shack'. Anyway, the Ylissians staged at Port Ferox had sent a messenger and Robin assumed it was to tell that the rest of the Valmese invasion forces were well on their way to their continent. Robin was really hoping to catch them at the port and after defeating them or dying a miserable death, continuing to Valm to finish the job with some of the Valmese dead.

"Lord Chrom! Sir Robin! We have urgent news from the Port!"

Finally the messenger had arrived after being spotted by Cordelia a good ways from the camp.

"Yes we understand. Are you here to tell us that Valm's main forces are sailing over here now?"

Robin had told Chrom that this was the most likely reason to send a messenger especially in such a hurry. Chrom was not looking forward to locking horns with Valm again as they were a very formidable force.

"No sir, we've recently received news from some scouts on the seas. Our small scouting vessels and Pegasus Knights patrolling the sea returned with news that there is a large storm forming over the route that Valm was to use to reach us. It appears that the Invasion force has been delayed, along with our passage as well."

Everyone was slightly agape at this. They were marching back to Port Ferox so they could set sail or wait for Valm, depending on what they agreed on.

"How long do you think we have until the sea is calm enough to sail across?"

"The sea faring merchants and local sailors say that a storm of this size will delay any sailing for about four to five weeks."

"Robin, what say you?"

Chrom, along with Lucina and Frederick, looked to him for his opinion on the matter. Fact is, he had no idea about anything involving sailing so he'd have to play it safe and set sail after five weeks were up. Or he could be a little daring and go after four weeks. Then the Ylissian league could get the drop on Valm by beating the invasion force.

"I say we wait until the four weeks are over and then we set sail immediately. Maybe if we set sail before their invasion force we can meet them at their port and just stop them there."

Chrom mulled it over and looked to Frederick for support and then agreed since he trusted Robin implicitly.

"Okay then. We now have four weeks until we set out for Valm."

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Robin found himself in yet another uncomfortable situation. Gone were the days when he and Maribelle locked eyes and they immediately turned away from each other, whether it was due to his nickname, the peeking at the springs, or other shenanigans. Or he thought they were over. Now he was sharing tea with her after his Aristocrat lessons and he had to say it was just as bad to be around her now as it was back in the day.

"Robin, Darling, are you feeling ill? Your ability to comprehend what I say seems to be even more stunted today."

Maribelle liked to jab at him every now and then and of course he'd retort with an equally clever remark. Of course that was before his revelation of being madly in love with a woman who was known to berate most and compliment few. He guessed that was part of the appeal since he had experienced her tongue lashings before and now they were on good terms. Now he had more trouble than ever talking to her since he had no clue what to even say anymore.

"Oh yeah, heh heh, you're as funny as ever Maribelle."

Now Maribelle was choking on the tea she was sipping when Robin was talking.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone has actually found my japes to be humorous, yourself included dear. Are you actually feeling ill?"

"No I feel great actually. Being here with you and having tea all of the time really sets my mind at ease. I've also thought that your thinly veiled insults were humorous for quite sometime now."

Now Robin was sweating out of areas on his body that he didn't even know could sweat. He felt that now might be a good time to confess after all he really did find her to be funny. He also looked forward to all of his lessons no matter how dull they were and all of the tea since it was delicious anyway. Yes now was a great time, just tell her how much he loved her and then...

"Oh darling, I've been meaning to ask you, some people saw a strange man standing outside my tent a few nights ago. They say he just stood there after running to it and ran off after some time. I was hoping you might be able to enlighten me or at least reassure me of my safety. I've been feeling uneasy about this situation."

Strange man? It almost sounded like someone saw Robin run to her tent and totally puss out...Oh. Damn.

"Don't worry Maribelle, I would never let anyone hurt you after all I lo-ha uh. Ahem. I look out for all of my friends."

Maribelle stopped sipping to stare at Robin after his almost fatal slip. He was turning red and quick, he couldn't even bring himself to look at her. Now he had a good idea of what its like to be Olivia.

"Well its getting kind of late and I said that I'd go on patrol later tonight soooo, yeah."

"Robin Darling, its barely even noon."

"..."

WHOOSH

Robin was out of the tent before he had time to make himself look like a total moron again.

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After Robins embarrassing encounter with Maribelle he was walking around like he usually did to clear his mind. How to confess his feelings, that was the question of the day. He was the tactician of the Shepherds, the very man that brought this rag tag group of misfits to their glorious victory against Gangrel that got their names into the textbooks and Gaius into the beds of any woman he wanted. Yet he couldn't think of a single strategy to confess or propose to that woman.

"Heya Robin!"

It appears that Robin had been so out of it that he didn't even notice Nowi nearby. He really needed to stop doing that.

"Oh hello Nowi. What are you doing out here by yourself?"

"Well I was talking to Gaius, but he gave more figs so I'd sit over here so here I am."

She then bit into her fig with gusto and stared at Gaius while he was fishing for what appeared to be a Honey bee hive. Nowi may be in the body of a teen aged girl, but maybe she'd know a thing or two about marriage and confessions. Maybe. If he approached her about this, he'd have to be very tactful...

"Hey Nowi, I need to ask you about a woman."

"Sorry Robin, but I'm already _takeeeen._"

He noted the singing at the end of her sentence and he was well aware of the little dance going on between her and Gaius. He'd already spied on multiple fig sessions where Gaius would give them to her so she'd leave him to business, but Robin then observed Gaius making figs with more purpose lately as well as putting the honey he'd get from hives into them for Nowi. Robin assumed he was getting this honey for more candy and some of his figs for Nowi.

"Sorry Nowi, but I think I'll leave you to Gaius. I was hoping for advice on someone else."

She continued to kick her legs about as she watched Gaius make an idiot of himself by falling off the tree with the hive and proceeded to sprint off with angry bees in tow.

"Yeah I know, Lissa told me allllll about it."

Say what. If that gossip knew then that means everyone would know.

"...so what exactly do you know?"

"Maribelle has been telling Lissa that her pupil in the fine arts has taken a turn for the awkward. She is worried that you don't like being around her again, but me and Lissa know that you're just in Loooooove."

With this Robin just turned his head and felt the blood rushing to his face. He had to do what he did with Chrom all those years ago and throw Nowi off of his trail.

"What? No, of course not. Wha-What makes you say that?"

It appears that his masterful guise was falling apart and quick.

"Mm hm. So then lets say that your not in love with ms. Maribelle. What is this advice that you'd like from the worlds most poised woman."

Yes, Robin remembered the whole poise business when Nowi put on an entire bottle of perfume to try and impress Gaius. It made his eyes burn when she walked by that day and he learned of the events after pestering Gaius. He then began his operation of getting a thief and a manakete hitched.

"Yes you have poise in spades. Now then I'd like to know the best way to get a woman to fall in love with me and the most effective way to propose after such events."

"You make it sound like getting Maribelle to marry you is some kind of battle to be won with a strategy. Love is a natural thing that happens through being with another person like saving them from mad kings..."

Robin was staring at her intently.

"...or maybe they show interest in the other person by being close to them under the impression of giving some sort of lessons..."

Robin felt that Nowi was trying to make a point, but he couldn't quite understand what it was.

"...or one of them shared some sort of heartfelt confession to the other about their childhood."

Nowi was now raising and lowering her eyebrows hoping that Robin would get the message, but his trademark look where his eyes were glossed over and he was just staring at the other person gave the idea that he was still in the dark.

"Sir Robin, we've got news of a bandit attack."

Suddenly Frederick's interjection interrupted Robin from figuring out that Maribelle already had feelings for the master tactician and colossal dunce with women.

"What's the word Freddy."

Frederick grimaced at that name since he barely liked it when Lissa used it.

"Apparently two bandit chiefs, Victor and Vincent, have been terrorizing areas in Regna Ferox and we've go word of where they might be heading. Lord Chrom feels that taking these bandits down would be beneficial while we await the departure for Valm."

Robin agreed that keeping the Shepherds skills sharp and doing a service to the people would in fact be a very good use of time. So he would take the Shepherds to these bandits and give them what for.

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After the battle, Robin had talked briefly with the merchant girl Anna. He'd seen women that looked identical to her many times, but this was the first time he'd talked to one of them. And she sure did love to talk...

"C'mon I'm sure I have something you'd like."

"Sorry milady, but I don't see anything that I could use in your wares so I bid you good day."

Maribelle's lessons definitely were kicking in when Robin was tired or out of it.

"Oh there must be something, I've got weapons, staves, I've even got presents for that special lady in your life."

Robin stopped walking and his eyes had widened a bit. Maybe now would be the best time if any to get a ring. Well if that was even what she was talking about.

"Alright, I'm listening."

"Stand back sir because I'm sure the very thought of your woman wearing this will bring the blood rushing to parts of your body that only she would even think of touching!"

Now Robin was staring at various lingerie and other outfits that didn't really seem to cover the more inappropriate parts of the female body.

"I was thinking more of... rings."

"Did you say swings? I didn't peg you for that type of person, but I can't say I'd fault you for being into that. Alright I think I have something along those lines somewhere..."

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After a long lesson in what type of swing he was about to buy Robin declined Annas's offer to buy it and... test it out. It had only been three days since they'd received news of the storm overseas and the Shepherds had successfully routed a group of bandits and their leader who Robin didn't even care to remember the name of. He was too busy trying to plan sealing the deal with Maribelle and he had a couple of plans. The one he was most likely going to use involved a big musical number and Robin was still working on the lyrics.

"What are you doing Man-spawn?!"

Robin turned to Panne as she pulled him away form the small cliff he was about to walk off of.

"Why is it that love turns you man-spawn into such idiotic beings?"

Seriously, even Panne knew?

"...if Lissa told you that I'm going to fill her tent with frogs."

"No she did not. I can smell it on you."

That's right, being Taguel and all gives her uncanny sense of smell. But smelling love seemed a bit of an exaggeration.

"So have you smelled this on other people as well?"

Robin didn't miss a beat as she turned her head to stare in the direction of the practice area.

"If I'm not mistaken, the tin man wants to spar with me and drink tea because he too shares the scent you carry. Although your cloak seems to be stained with the smell of human tea instead of Taguel."

That didn't really surprise Robin since he was always drinking tea with Maribelle. What interested him was the fact that Panne was turning a bit red.

"Would you say that the same scent comes from you as well when you are with Kellam? You almost looked happy when you were talking about him."

Instantly her expression went from the softened look of fondly thinking of her soon to be lover since Robin would see to that, or had been seeing to it for some time now, to the usual hardened, pissed of Panne look.

"You know nothing of how I feel."

"Mmmm I think I do since I'm giving off that scent right?"

"..."

"Right. I'll just leave you to it then."

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"Maribelle, I am singing to propose to you.

Maribelle, I insulted your hair and saw you naked too.

Maribelle, I'm singing a song that is total... Poo."

And that is exactly what it was, as well as every other draft he'd written. He just couldn't think of any good lyrics whatsoever and now he was thinking that he'd have to resort to one of his other plans.

"Sir Robin, might I inquire about something?"

Apparently being Grandmaster to Ylisse was something that brought great respect and it made Robin uncomfortable as hell.

"Come on in Frederick. You can just call me Robin too, Sir Robin was my fathe-."

Robin slammed his face into the desk after his mind caught up to what he was saying.

"I was hoping to ask you for advice on women. Lord Chrom sent me to you since he felt you could better aid me than he. Chrom made sure to put emphasis on the fact that you inadvertently helped his highness and Lady Sumia in their courtship and that you offered advice to him when he hadn't even thought to propose yet."

Robin would say that 'inadvertently' was the wrong word, but Frederick and the rest of the world would know that after Robin published that journal.

"I'm more than happy to help a fellow Shepherd. So what do you need?"

"I have a woman in my life that I'd like to propose to. I'm just not sure how to do it. I've questioned others on this subject and some agreed that doing so under 'romantic' circumstances would be best, but I haven't the faintest idea what constitutes a situation to be romantic. And so I've come to you in hopes that you might be able to offer any sort of advice."

After Donnie and Chrom, Robin's best advice would be to just straight up propose since like Sumia and Cherche, Lissa was already frothing at the loins for Frederick. 'Frothing at the loins' that was pure gold, Robin was going write that one down.

"Er, Robin, you seem to be a little distracted. If you'd like I can return later when you aren't as busy."

"Oh it's nothing I just need to write something down real quick. Anyway, like Chrom the best thing I could possibly tell you is that Lissa wouldn't care too much about where or how it happens, she'd care more that it actually happened. If the man of her dreams proposed to her she wouldn't care at the moment if the situation was romantic, but later on down the line when your marriage cools off and she starts looking at other men and she has kids eh..."

"I'm sorry Robin, but what exactly are you saying?"

"Right, simply put, just propose and she'll say yes since she does the training in combat and laziness just to be close to you."

"Hm. Are you sure about this? I find myself quite nervous when I think of asking Lissa to be my wife. After all I've protected her for some time now and I'm just one of her subordinates..."

"Hey Frederick, have you ever heard the story of Eirika and Seth?"

"Of course, the tale of the Princess that married her knight protector is a tale that is sung by many bards."

"Does is sound familiar?"

"..."

Suddenly Frederick caught on to Robins point.

"I thank you sir, you've helped me greatly today. I will procure a ring the next time Lissa and I are 'slacking off' in town."

"Naga speed friend."

With that Frederick left the tent and much to Robin's relief. Today Robin was planning to get the dirt on Cordelia since she always wanted Lon'qu to 'teach' her his sparring technique. Robin had seen her practice in private and she'd already perfected it and put in her own personal touch to it. Whenever she'd show it to Lon'qu, her technique was nowhere near as good as it was in private so Robin's plan that was enacted over two years ago was finally, FINALLY working. The only flight risk was Lon'qu not returning the feeling because of his fear of all people with a vagina. That of course was the reason for spying today, to see how the two interacted.

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So far the training was nothing out of the ordinary. Lon'qu would show her techniques, she'd practice them and get them wrong so they could spend more time together. More importantly, Lon'qu was turning red more than usual and Robin was getting a very good feeling about this. It was almost tragic how Cordelia was obsessed with a man that didn't even notice her and now Robin had finally gotten rid of the silly little crush or whatever it was. Yes, yes things were going ever so nicely...

"What are you doing here man-spawn?"

Suddenly Robin found Panne and a fairly beaten up suit of armor near her. She was standing over the bush he was using to spy on the two love birds.

"Oh well I was just uh, coming here to...train. And I dropped my book so I was laying down to pick it up."

It wasn't his best line, but he was on the spot so it would have to do.

"If you're here to train you could always spar with us Robin."

Robin was now looking at both Cordelia and Lon'qu who had come over to see what the commotion was.

"Oh that would be absolutely wonderful!"

The Prodigy of a Pegasus Knight and the Reigning champion Regna Ferox Swordsman. Robin's chances were as Basilio would say, a farts chance in the wind.

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Robin was now looking at Lon'qu and a large crowd who had gathered to watch and place bets. Apparently a match between the master swordsman and the genius tactician was just too good to pass up. Robin looked at him knowing that he couldn't beat him in terms of speed and...

"Begin!"

Robin found himself dodging. That was it. He couldn't get a strike in at all, it was like word play with Maribelle since she was well versed in bringing people down.

Speaking of Maribelle, he saw that even she turned out to see the match and she seemed very excited about it. Or maybe excited to see him. Or Lon'qu. Now Robin was dreading that thought, that she was in love with a man who was far more skilled in combat or was more muscular and...

SWISH

Thinking about Maribelle was really throwing Robin off. If he was going to win and impress Maribelle, he'd have to think of something extraordinary to take down Lon'qu. Or he could just put him into the situation Robin was just in.

"WHOA did Cordelia's boot strap come loose?"

The thought of seeing Cordelia's slender and ivory legs was enough to turn Lon'qu and every man, plus a fair amount of women to Cordelia. She was turning as red as Lon'qu who had realized that he'd just threw a match just to sneak a peek. Well Robin assumed that he realized this.

WHAP

Robin took advantage of Lon'qu and his distracted state to smash him over the head with the practice sword. Now he stood over the unconscious form of Lon'qu and was reveling in his well earned victory.

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After the match Robin returned to his tent to record that interaction in the journal as it would make for a very good story later on.

"Robin, I have news for you."

"Hey Frederick, long time no see. I think its been like what, half a day?"

"We've no time for japes. The merchant girl that aided us is under siege from the bandits that we fought not too long ago."

"How far is she?"

"She is close by and the bandits are in pursuit. If intel is correct, we can follow and assist her before they kill or capture her. That is if we set out immediately."

Of course, Robin and his romance obsession would have to wait because some perverted, red haired merchant was in trouble.

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The bandit leader looked exactly like his brother or father or... whatever the hell they were. Fact is they were both dead now and the Anna that they saved was NOT the one that they'd seen the other time. In fact, this one claimed that she wasn't as perverted as the other Anna that Robin encountered much to his relief because that other one was fairly persistent in selling him that swing.

Whatever the case, the Shepherds still had about three and a half weeks until the deadline for sailing to Valm. Now Robin was trudging back to his tent to hopefully be able to warm up and study a little after being torn from his planning. He then spotted Sullykins and Gregor together a little off the beaten trail. Obviously he wasn't about to pass this up since they were well on the way to pumping out a vulgar mouthed, grammatically retarded child. Hopefully.

"I lost our duel, but you refuse to claim your damn prize. Now name your terms so we can be done with this and I can sleep at night!"

If Robin's imagination was right, if he claimed his prize you probably won't be getting any sleep tonight Sully...

"Gregor is no longer interested in competition with woman like you."

Oh damn, this was going south and fast. Now Sully was going to flip a dookie and kick him in the head or something.

"I already admitted you won! So if you're gonna refuse just because I'm a woman-"

That was about what Robin was expecting word wise, now he was waiting for the stabbing or the kicking.

"Is not because you are woman. Is because you are Sully."

Oh. OH. Robin had hit the Romance jackpot, walking in on another man's confession. Actually Robin really needed to see this so he could get some pointers on how it's done.

"Gregor cannot fight woman he is loving so madly. So instead of beating you with sword he buys you lovely gift instead."

...that's it? That was the confession? That was kind of...lame. Maybe Robin would spruce it up for the journal if Sully even said yes to that crappy...

"I wouldn't say no because of that..."

Of course, Robin missed some of the conversation. He really needed to lock it in when he was listening in on others.

"...And actually I wouldn't say no at all."

"Wait... Gregor is confused. Is meaning Sully says yes?"

Yes Robin is confused too. Is Sully really saying yes to such a weak confession?

"I've learned a lot from you Gregor. About fencing and swordsmanship sure. But also honor and respect. I think we could make a pretty damn fine team if we married."

"Oh words of joyfulness! Gregor will do his happy dance!"

Oh yes, that dance would be immortalized in Robin's journal as the goofiest thing he had ever witnessed. But something that Robin noted was Sully's lack of teasing to his dance. In fact she was too infatuated to even care about anything or notice. Apparently that was what love did to people, got you to overlook the other person's... queer quirks and dances. If Robin could get Maribelle to be like that with him then maybe he'd feel more comfortable trying to do anything. Regardless, he had another entry for his journal so now he was going to head out.

On the way back to his tent he happened upon Lucina who actually seemed to be looking for someone and he had a feeling that it was him.

"Ah, Sir Robin I need to have a word."

"Please Lucina its just Robin. Now what can I do for you?"

"I heard that Uncle Gregor and Aunt Sully just got married."

"...Uncle Gregor and Aunt Sully?"

"Yes. In my time like the other Shepherds, they were like family and I'd like to tell you where I believe their child is now."

This definitely sparked his interest.

"You mean the others that came with you to this time correct? And you know where they are?"

"I've been trying to keep tabs on them, but I don't truly know where exactly they are. I have the general locations of some and I'd like to disclose where I believe Kjelle to be."

If she knew about who had children and who was married in her time then maybe...

"Lucina before you tell me that I'd like to ask you something. In the future do I get married?... do I have any children?"

She simply paused at this, as if to contemplate something.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot answer for fear that in telling you I might alter this time line more than I have already."

Robin was a little disappointed, but the fact that she had to contemplate meant that there was a good chance that he did get married and she didn't want to tell so that he'd fall in love naturally and all of that bogus.

"All right, fair enough. You said you might know where this Kjelle person is correct? Why don't we go to the strategy tent and you can show me on the map."

Now that Robin was on the prowl for Gregor and Sully's kid, he was more determined than ever to get his woman and have children of his own. And by Naga he was going to make that woman love him even if he had to sell his soul to Grima himself. If only Robin knew the irony of that statement...


	10. Chapter 10

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: Just a quick note, I realize that realistically no storm would shut down sailing for a solid month or month and a half. It was to give more time for other shenanigans to go down before they leave the continent so yeah. Just in case you were like "Oh what a dumbass, he doesn't know a thing about ANYTHING." No one has said anything about it, but it really bothered me that I left it like that.**

Chapter 10

"How?! HOW DAMN YOU!?"

Robin had to admit, he saw the resemblance between Sully and Kjelle in both body and mind. Or more language to be exact. She had both Gregor and Sully's red hair and the potty mouth to match her mother pound for pound. After helping her skewer the man that killed her mentor in an unfair duel, the Shepherds had recruited Kjelle and Robin had to admit that she was really, REALLY biting into his free time. Hey Robin you're trying to study? Duel me. Oh you trying to talk to the woman you love? Duel me. Trying to relieve yourself in the middle of the woods in an extremely secluded, hard to find area that you came to so that you could specifically avoid me? Well then how about you DUEL ME? It was exhausting because the result was always the same. She was a head on knight while he was trained in magic. Magic. He wasn't sure what part of that she didn't understand. Her resistance to it was atrocious and she couldn't really dodge, Kjelle mainly relied on brute strength. Which doesn't help against magic. So this thought essentially answered her question which honestly seemed very obvious as to what the answer was.

"...it's the same as last time Kjelle. I'm trained in both sword and magic so I can easily dispatch you with most tomes. Training does increase willpower which helps with resistance, but if I were you I'd ask a mage or cleric as to how they have higher resistance to magic than the rest of us. Just like I suggested you do last time..."

"No I don't need to ask anyone about that, I just need to train even harder Damn it!"

Although she'd just joined the Shepherds, like two days ago, she'd already proven herself a decent fighter in her duel and in sparring. Though her hard headed nature like her mother was hindering her growth. Robin was going to get a quick word in on how she needed to do this in order to improve herself, but just like the other times, she'd somehow sprinted off in knight armor to train. Again.

Robin only sighed in his head as he wanted to help his fellow Shepherd and child of two friends get stronger. But if she was going to run off then he might as well do something with his time to further his plans. In recent days Robin had been trying to get much closer to Maribelle and make his move and he had to say it was terrifying. He had been trying to probe her on what kind of jewelry she was fond of since he didn't see her wearing any. Robin also realized that if he went to Lissa then Maribelle would know how he felt without having to tell her himself. He'd seriously considered it a couple of times, but he figured that would be the cowardly thing to do.

Speaking of cowardly things and Maribelle, it was time for him to get to his lesson for the day.

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"No, no, NO! You should not slurp the tea like a dog lapping up water, you must sip it so that it washes over the palate and it is improper to spill it in your lap as well. Your progress has been quite atrocious darling and I must say that it is starting to worry me. Usually you are so smart and dedicated to whatever it is you put your mind to, but now you are acting as if you crawled straight from the slums dear."

Of course Robin didn't really hear any of that, he only saw Maribelle talking with the grace to match an angel and the facial expression to match an angry bear...

"Muh?"

"It is also rude to ignore a lady when she speaks to you! Honestly, what has gotten into you, all you do is sit there and stare while failing miserably to act like a true Nobleman. I must say that I'm disappointed Robin, you were such a promising pupil until just recently."

"..."

"Robin?"

"Eh?"

"Well speak up and tell me why it is that my star pupil has recently been beset by blunders fitting of a court jester."

Well I love you and I was just admiring your beauty while trying to think of a way to confess my love to you.

"Well I have been thinking of presents I was going to give to the other Shepherds on their birthdays. Actually I'd like to ask for your assistance in doing so."

Close. Robin was really close that time, but he still didn't have the courage to tell her.

"I don't think I'm the best person to ask in a situation like this, after all the two people that I'm close to are Lissa and you darling."

Every time she said something like that Robin's heart would race as he'd always have some delusion that she meant that she too had the same feelings for him. Even if she didn't, Robin was going to make this woman fall head over heels for him and he'd start with his plan to find out what kind of ring to get her.

"I was hoping that you could help me make some decisions involving rings..."

"WHAT!"

Maribelle had stopped her tea sipping and what appeared to be day dreaming when Robin mentioned the ring.

"And just WHO are these rings or ring meant for Robin?! HMMM?!"

"Wha- I'm just buying gifts for my fellow Shepherds and all. Just a friendly gesture, yeah?"

"What man buys another man a ring? You obviously mean to give a ring to some strumpet! Well?!"

Robin was having some hardcore flashbacks of being pummeled by rocks in the hot springs and being maliciously beaten by a parasol.

"I suppose you got me there. Or maybe I was going to buy Chrom a ring, you know, since me and him were 'in love' before Sumia came along, ha ha...ha"

The very angry look on her face was an indication that she wasn't amused by his joke in the slightest.

"...So can you tell me what kind of rings that women like?...please?"

Her glare was burning holes into his face and he felt that Kjelle had a better chance of surviving a direct hit from a Bolganone than he did of making it out of Maribelle's tent or Aristocrat lessons from here on out for that matter, unscathed.

"Well why don't you ask whatever woman you're buying a ring for what she likes?!"

Funny because Robin just did.

"Maribelle please, as my dear friend, I am begging you to help me with this one thing. Please?"

This pathetic attempt to calm her down and hopefully get the information he wanted was exactly that... Pathetic.

"...any woman that receives a ring for her 'birthday' from you is lucky enough as it is. I know that she wouldn't truly care what it looked like as long as you put your heart into choosing it and giving it to her."

That was useless. Hell it sounded like what he had said to Frederick. Robin could probably quote that in a lame romance novel if he ever felt like writing one.

"That was useless..."

"WHAT!?"

Apparently he had said that out loud instead of just thinking it inside of his head. After expertly dodging multiple strikes from her parasol that rivaled Lon'qu in speed and Vaike in strength, he made a bee line for the exit.

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Robin found himself sitting next to Nowi after he decided to stop running from Maribelle's tent. He figured that she wouldn't give chase, but he wasn't about to take any chances. After all a woman scorned...

"Hey Nowi. How do I propose to someone?"

"*Chomp* Well I'd say that*Om-Nom* the best way is to just do it and if you two truly love each other*Smack* then it shouldn't matter how you propose to me."

"Oh ha-ha. Is that really the best you can come up with?"

"Alright, do you know this woman well?"

"What do you mean Nowi?"

"Well you're not going to propose to some random village maiden are you? You talk to this woman and know her on a level that some don't right?"

"Yes."

"She considers you to be an intimate friend right?"

"Yes."

"And you like the company of men more than women right?"

"Yes, wait NO, ahhh come on Nowi I'm really needing this help alright?!"

"Robin believe me, Maribelle won't care how. She loves you. End of story."

"...what about a ring?"

"So you finally stop denying it have you?"

A quick glance and Robin threatening to bust out a wyrmslayer got her back on subject.

"Look Robin if you really love her as much as she does you, then she wouldn't care if her ring was made of pig slop or, or... Risen fingers! For the love of Naga and all other deities just ask her to marry you man!"

Was that seriously all there was to it? Just 'Oh hey I love you so wanna get married?' Robin was getting this from everyone either directly or indirectly when he was spying on them. He just didn't want to propose and have it be lame, Maribelle deserved the best and he wanted to be a man that was worthy of being her husband.

"Ooooh there's Gaius! I'll be back in a sec!"

She then ran off enthusiastically to talk to the silver tongued devil and Robin was seriously debating on whether or not he should go spy on them or continue his internal battle over just out right proposing to Maribelle or just letting her go so that she can be with someone that is in the same class as her. Then Robin remembered Nowi's little pep talk. 'Look Robin if you really love her as much as she does you..' Now Robin's tactical part of the brain was working, Nowi was friends with Lissa and she was a well known gossip. Lissa spreads information through nodes and the first nodes are her good friends, one being Nowi. Now if Lissa had gotten her claws into who Maribelle had fallen for then Nowi would be the first to know and now that he was really thinking about it, some past conversations with Nowi AND Lissa have pointed to Maribelle having feelings for Robin. Hell Lissa had brought up the whole hot springs thing multiple times and Robin never did figure out who the woman was that the others had been interrogating at the springs. Yes like a well thought out strategy or one of those dumps that slide right out so you don't even have to wipe, it was perfect. Or he was over analyzing and compensating for the fact that he was scared stiff of proposing.

"Well, that's because I wanted to know what YOU liked in a woman."

Eh? Robin turned to see Nowi blushing more furiously than Cordelia and Lon'qu at their sparring sessions after the whole bit where Lon'qu lost their mock battle to look at Cordelia's leg.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?"

Yes Nowi, why do you care so much? Now Robin had completely forgotten his internal strife and was back in predator mode.

For a good minute or so Robin successfully managed to crawl through the surrounding brush in order to make it to the tree line and sneak close enough to get in for the juicy part.

"I know I don't have a lot of poise, and I'm actually kind of short... But I know if I try really hard, I'll eventually become the kind of woman you like. So that's what I'm gonna do. Even if it takes me a hundred years!"

"Cripes, I'll be pushing up daisies by that point!"

"Oh no-you're right. I hadn't thought about that...*sniff* Then...I guess...I'll never be good enough...for you...I'll be alone and...and...*sniff* Waaaaaaah!"

This was going from delightfully mischievous information to put into his journal to awkward as Nowi was from confessing to crying uncontrollably. The worst part, the absolute WORST part about his good friend Nowi breaking down and crying after telling the man of her dreams she liked him was that her crying was blocking out all of their conversation. He couldn't hear a damn thing and he was getting a little irritated.

"And the thing is... I think I like you, too. I can't believe it, but it's true."

Finally he could hear again.

"B-b-but... what about the poise stuff? And being tolerant? And mature?"

"Sometimes things that seem important actually aren't you know?"

"Really? So does this mean... um... You want to get married?"

"You know what? Sure, why not? Let's get hitched and see what happens."

"YAY! Till death do us part!...well until you die anyway. Sorry about that..."

"Heh, it's alright dear"

Now Robin had a very important task to take care of. Inform Lissa of this turn of events so that she could spread this as fast as possible.

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Of course, right before dinner a bunch of thugs and hooligans had to come and attack a caravan making its way to a nearby village and the Shepherds would do their best to stop them with one of Robin's patented ten second plans. Although the only thing that went off was when Tharja broke off from formation to break for the village and Robin happened to notice that she didn't have dinner at all that night and he usually saw her at supper since he and the Vaike ate together a lot. Like he said tonight she was nowhere in sight and Vaike had even asked about her before someone said they saw her out towards the edge of camp. Vaike took some food and set out with his goofy grin and of course Robin wasn't about to miss out on this kind of intrigue.

"...Yer thinkin' about the battle today, yeah? About how some folks got hurt? Don't go blamin' yourself for that, now. You did all ya could."

"...I should have done more."

Robin wasn't happy that some of the traders were seriously injured and some killed. He later learned that Tharja had tried to stop some of the bandits before they reached the village, but she couldn't dispatch all of them before they got in some lethal blows. It appeared that it was eating at her more than anyone would have believed, well everyone besides Vaike.

"Here. I brought ya figs and part of a pie. Thought you could use a meal."

"You planned this!"

"...huh?"

"You didn't just pass here by accident. You knew I was upset and followed me!"

"Look, if ya keep askin' questions, this pie's gonna get cold."

"...Perhaps I stand corrected."

"About what?"

"I thought you lacked the ability to understand my mind. I may have been wrong."

"Didja say that? I totally forgot. Now dig in!"

Mmmm yes, yes. Robin was making stellar progress with Nowi and Gaius getting married, now Tharja and Vaike were getting a bit closer as they ate together and made small talk. How could today get any better...

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...Oh baby Robin was on fire today, now Cordelia and Lon'qu are getting saucy together.

"I have watched you in battle. You have eyes for only one man. You are in love with Chrom."

Cordelia then turned her back to him and stepped forward a few times.

"Yes I suppose so. I remember all those days I spent fawning for him and then the days spent crying when he married my best friend..."

Robin didn't really know where this was going, but if she wanted to beat Lon'qu's self confidence into a bloody submission then she was succeeding. Robin could see his shoulders begin to sag as if someone had grabbed him and just crushed all of the air from his body. Robin felt like this was NOT how this was supposed to happen.

"...for two years I only wished that it had been me instead and I trained even harder to try and make myself forget. Then I'd lay awake sometimes and I'd think to myself 'why couldn't I have died instead of my fellow Pegasus knights?' maybe if I had then I wouldn't be suffering so. Then this war with Valm came around and I began to think that maybe if I got impaled on the end of a Valmese spear, I'd be out of my misery and I could die an honorable death before people realize that I'm in love with a married man."

...for god's sake lady you are one SICK person. Lon'qu looked like he was going to go and impale himself on the Valmese spear instead while she monologues about her unrequited love to the guy that clearly loves her.

"Might I ask why you care about my heart and who it goes out to?"

Maybe she would get stabbed by the Valmese now, sitting here toying with Lon'qu like that. Of all people, Robin thought that she would understand love and the pain it brings. Now that he thought about it, she might be doing this to enjoy being on the receiving end of unrequited love, so that she could make someone else suffer just like her. Oh that's it, she is going straight to the front lines every time after this...

"...Er"

Lon'qu looked like Minerva had just stomped all over him like the first time Donnie and Cherche had moved into the same tent. Apparently having her master share quarters with Donnie was unnerving and as much as Minerva liked him, she tried to maul and eat him. A lot. Even after they moved in together. Whatever, anyway Lon'qu looked like pure crap after hearing that Cordelia wanted to die since the guy she loved was married and this was the appointed day that Lon'qu was going to propose, or Robin assumed so since Lon'qu held the ring and breathed very deeply before coming to meet Cordelia which prompted Robin to follow him.

"No, wait. I'm not finished yet."

Wow, what a bitc-

"You've given me help and fencing lessons under the guise of repaying a debt. But I told you that you owed me nothing. So what is the real reason?"

"...that was the reason...at least in the beginning."

The usually stoic swordsman sounded like he was going to jump off a cliff after this conversation ended and Robin felt for his fellow man and his quest for love.

"You overcame your phobia of me while performing countless menial chores... I would know your reason for this sir."

"I am not a man who... expresses himself well with words. Perhaps this gift will tell you what you want to know."

It looked like he was going for broke and judging by his slumped shoulder and hanging head, he was expecting the worst as was Robin. In fact, this little display had shattered any and all delusions that Robin had of ever trying to propose to a Noblewoman. Robin knew now that he'd rather grow old and die alone before he ever ran the risk of having his heart torn from his chest like Lon'qu.

"Let me see-Ah, a ring! Oh and what a nice big stone! So many carats... Wow..."

"Put that loupe away! If you don't want the ring, discard it and we will speak no more of this."

Lon'qu appeared to be sick of this gut wrenching conversation as he was trying to end it as quickly as possible now.

"You know I loved Chrom because I thought he was the very embodiment of a perfect man. He is charismatic, righteous, a strong fighter...hee hee."

Was she seriously laughing? Now she was going to run recon and 'accidentally' fly right over a garrison of snipers...

"But now I think that the embodiment of a perfect man is a stoic, loyal, gynephobic swordsman who trained me so that he could get closer to me."

"Muh?"

_"Eh?"_

Thankfully Lon'qu's surprised outburst was louder than Robins.

"That's right Lon'qu, I don't want to throw away your ring. I want to WEAR it."

"Y-you do? Then...?"

"Yes, Lon'qu I've fallen in love with you as well and I'd be happy to marry you."

"Even in my wildest dreams I dared not hope you'd say yes."

She then wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose, turning him redder that her hair.

"Heh, yes and now you're stuck with me, I fear. But don't worry. I think we're going to be very happy together!"

"...yes I think we will. Would you mind not kissing my nose though?"

"Oh okay, how aboooout this. Orrrrr this."

She then bombarded him with kisses all over his face and he turned so red that Robin decided to make up a color just to describe it in the journal. After Lon'qu's successful proposal he turned... Embarred. Yes a shade of red for when you're so embarrassed that you turn the same shade of red that only Lon'qu achieved.

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It had been a long day and Robin flopped down into his bed to reflect the days events. Two pairs of Shepherds had gotten hitched and another pair were making good progress. Which left Robin with his own predicament. It appeared that the advice he had gotten wasn't far off as both Lon'qu and Gaius seemed to have just gone with the flow instead of planning it out. After seeing the success of his friends, Robin was feeling pretty enthusiastic about his own proposal.

After careful deliberation he had finally come to an ultimatum. The Shepherds were only a stone's throw from a town and first thing in the morning, he'd quickly make his way there and buy a ring and then before breakfast could even be cooked he'd take her somewhere secluded and propose. Then he could finally have closure as to whether or not Maribelle was as madly in love with him as was implied by Nowi and Lissa. Robin felt like he was back in Plegia in the final battle with Gangrel, this feeling washing over him that could only be described in three words, Do or Die. Tomorrow morning would be the day that Robin's life took a turn for the worst or like his good friends, he would do 'happy dance' or be assaulted by Maribelle's affection. Since it was late at night, Robin was really, REALLY hoping it was the second one.


	11. Chapter 11

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

Chapter 11: How did you know?

Everything had gone so smoothly that morning. Robin had awoken early so that he could run to the town and pick up a ring of some kind. He'd picked up a simple gold band and if Maribelle was correct in saying that any woman would be lucky to get one from him, then she should accept no questions asked. Then Robin would beg Chrom for a raise so that he could afford a diamond ring for the actual wedding ceremony. Robin had heard that people make a lot of money by performing sexual acts on animals and he was sure people would love to see him get steamy with Minerva should the whole raise thing fall through...

Disturbing thoughts aside, Robin was confident with how things were going to happen. Either he'd propose to the love of his life or he'd get denied and continue on with his life as a dull lifeless husk who would never know the love of a woman. No matter what happened, Robin was sure that he'd be able to lead a happy life. Unless Maribelle said no and he went with the husk thing. Otherwise it was going to be good. Or it was until Robin's nerves got to him and he decided to eat breakfast before he went on with his plan since Robin had oh so subtly suggested that the Shepherds rest for today instead of traveling. Then he ate some breakfast that appeared to have been scraped off of the road and into a pot of boiling feces. Then it happened.

The bandits that the Shepherds had dispatched yesterday had a few of their buddies away from the fight and after the carnage they apparently tailed the Shepherds. The fact that these were rookie thugs was very, very, VERY clear as they wanted to get some shut eye before attacking the Shepherds camp the night before and decided that they'd go for an all out assault when everyone was awake as opposed to them all being asleep and vulnerable. So a battle ensued and nothing really seemed out of the ordinary. Married couples quickly paired up and others who were very close such as Ricken and Miriel or Virion and Olivia did the same. Then Robin saw Stahl double over clutching his gut and he assumed that he'd been hit. Robin quickly escorted Lissa over to him so that she could quickly heal him. Robin was not about to let a good friend die today, but upon arrival both Lissa and Robin noticed that Stahl was lacking any sort of injury. Then Vaike and Sully both appeared to have the same injury as they were hunched over with sweat pouring down their paled faces. Suddenly Robin felt as if there was a pike being run through his gut that had been dipped in burning oil. Then he felt a very strange sensation running down both of his legs and Robin had figured out what exactly had happened.

Robin wasn't sure if the awful breakfast that lead to the giant mass of poo staining the backsides of many a Shepherd was a blessing in disguise or a horrid curse. One the one hand the bandits were so disgusted and horrified by the smell that the Shepherds who had yet to eat breakfast were able to easily dispatch them and capture some alive. On the other hand the Shepherds who had eaten breakfast were thoroughly embarrassed having made mud slides in their pantaloons and although they were assured by the cook and everyone who had avoided this catastrophe that no one would think poorly on those afflicted, they still walked away having taken a large blow to their pride. Of course Robin ran away in hopes that Maribelle would not see him in such a state as he was determined to still propose today.

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"Oy Robin, make with the telling to Kjelle that her cooking isn't so bad."

Robin just gave Gregor a dumbstruck look as both he and Gregor knew that statement was a crock full of what had come out of a lot of peoples rear ends that morning.

"Dad don't try to make me feel better about almost killing my comrades! I'm going to go train so that I'll be useful in some way."

With that Kjelle quickly dashed off in full armor and Gregor just sighed.

"Is only been few days and Gregor feel like taking care of daughter is giving his fiery mane some gray streaks. What should he do Robin?"

"You could ask Chrom since he has a daughter who has come back from the future as well. He would know much more about this kind of thing than me."

Truth is Robin had much more to worry about than Gregor's daughter issues and as cruel and douchey as that sounded, he needed to propose as he felt that he could never muster up this kind of courage again.

"Hm maybe Gregor will do just that. But maybe Gregor take nap first since today is day off. Sully has been keeping her husband up and he is starting to feel more like old man than the young devil he is. By the way, Gregor sees that Robin is acting most jumpy like man with squirrel in pants. Maybe is because Robin thinking of tying the knot with lovely lass that he is loving so madly hmmm?"

Robin stopped his constant fidgeting so that he could focus on what was being said.

"I can assure you that I don't have any clue what you're talking about and I'm as still as an owl in the night friend."

Robin then returned to scratching his nose, running his hand over his hair, and biting the last digits of each finger as he thought about how he might wimp out of his marriage proposal.

"Yes well Gregor looking forward to your lessons today and maybe what happens with beautiful Miss Maribelle yes? Maybe after today she no longer being Miss."

Before Robin could register what Gregor had said, the red haired mercenary had already left to do whatever it is he did in his free time. After his little comment about Sully keeping him up, Robin assumed it was her that he did in his free time. More importantly it seemed that Gregor knew a lot more than he should as Robin had kept his love for Maribelle a secret and he definitely didn't reveal his desire to marry her to anyone. Well anyone except Nowi, but Robin was fairly sure that she wouldn't tell anyone, why would anyone spread baseless gossip like that around anyway? Now Robin was off to tell Lissa about how Sully probably spanked Gregor into submission for all of the times that he beat her in their spars...

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"There you are Robin."

Robin was torn from the world map only to be met with the King and Queen of Ylisse along with their daughter who looked to be the same age.

"You appear to be hard at work with what appears to be a piece of celery and a statuette of an angel. Some sort of strategy you've been working on?"

Time to put Robin's masterful manipulation of words to work.

"You have no idea good sir. For you see, this plan here will change the very world as we know it. What I have been working on here is-"

"What appears to be a plan for a proposal."

"That is correct Lady Sumia, it is a plan for a- wait what?"

Robin now stared at Chrom, Sumia, and turned his gaze to Lucina as well to try and get a good grip on the situation. It could be coincidence that all three of them and Gregor knew that he might be proposing today despite the whole brown in pants situation. Or the NHK had been spying on him and was now using all of their resources to try and sabotage Robin and his plans for happiness! He quickly fled the tent in hopes that the pawns for this organization never got their hands on whatever information they wanted.

THUNK

Robin was so distracted by fleeing the Strategy tent that he didn't even notice the random suit of armor that had been standing in his way. He then saw that Donnie and Ricken were there with it and they all seemed more than eager to talk to Robin.

"Well heya Robin! Whatcha in such a rush to do there man?"

"Yeah Robin you definitely seem like you're in a hurry. What do you think Kellam? What could possibly be wrong with the Grandmaster of Ylisse?"

"I heard a bit of interesting news from Panne earlier. Maybe that will shed some light on what's going on."

Robin was becoming very distressed by what was going on, more and more people were coming to him with strange messages that clearly pointed to them knowing about his plans for proposing to and marrying Maribelle.

"Yes she said that Lissa had been going on with some useless banter about how her best friend would be getting married soon. Lissa herself saw the suitor in question this very morning buying a ring for his fair lady. Tell us Robin, do you know who this mysterious suitor may be? I heard he wears a very distinctive cloak with purple designs on it and that he was a great hero who masterminded the downfall of the Plegians."

"Well I dun heard that tha fella is bit thick in the skull since he still hadn't caught on to her feelings. I'd say that everyone in camp could see it clearer than when Cordelia still loved Chrom."

"You know Donnie, I heard that they spend a fair amount of time in each others company, what with 'Aristocrat' lessons and 'tea' time. You know Robin, I don't think Maribelle's father would be very happy to know that his daughter is giving out 'lessons' in the privacy of her tent every day. Oops I mean this mystery suitor and Lissa's best friend."

Robin was off again to try and escape this torment, the blur of faces and voices that all clearly knew that he was going to propose.

_Sorry Sully, I didn't see you there_

"Oh hey it's Ylisse's grandmaster and the Shepherd's latest lovebird. I hope that ring you got it good or you can go ahead and just marry the Vaike."

_Lon'qu, Cordelia, I'm just off to plan some strategies_

"Ooooh when you get married, maybe you will have tea with Lon'qu and I as two pairs of newly weds!"

"Dear, we're not supposed to reveal that we know..."

"Er right, I mean good luck with any endeavors you have planned Robin!"

_Sorry Olivia and Virion I'm sort of in a hurry_

"Ah yes the call of love is a strong pull indeed friend. I only hope that your efforts to woo the love of your life is an effort well worth your time! Just as my efforts to teach Olivia the art of dancing with two has been well worth my time."

"Virion why must you say such embarrassing things! It's one thing to say it to me alone, but with company. Oh I feel so embarrassed..."

"Robin..."

Robin turned to see that Tharja was now standing before him with a satchel filled to the brim with strange items, one of them appearing to be bat wings.

"Oh uh, hello Tharja. I need to be somewhere right now and I'll see you later so yeah."

"Hold on Robin."

Robin wasn't sure how, but Tharja had an iron grip on his arm and he felt that not even the fiery hands of hell itself could pry him from her.

"I need some of your hair."

Of all the things that had been said to him that day, Robin felt that this was by far the strangest of course. What could she possibly want with his hair?

"What could you possibly want with my hair?"

"I'm going to undo any hexes I've put on you. I need to be sure that your affections never belong to me, but to the woman you're supposed to give that ring to. Plus I need to undo the hexes so that the love potion I'm making for Vaike will work as well..."

Now she had that trademark grin that had the hairs on his neck standing on end. Her elongated nails and fire bursting from her eyes as she laughed maniacally didn't help either. Okay Robin made up the last part, but her smile was very unsettling. Now Robin was sprinting back through camp trying to dodge any and all of his comrades because he now felt like he was going insane. He was so sure that he had been furtive with his personal feelings and now everyone knew somehow. What's next, did they also know that he slept almost completely naked, only wearing his trademark cloak. Or maybe they'd figure out that the only bit of hair on his body was on the top of his head, his armpits, and around his other head. Robin knew that he wouldn't be safe in his own tent as anyone that needed him or wanted to deliver cryptic messages about how they knew that he had bought a ring for Maribelle would look there first. Instead he'd go to the one other place in camp where he felt safest.

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"Robin, I must say that I applaud your enthusiasm for our lessons in Aristocratic life, but why did you insist that we practice out here in the middle of a field?"

After bursting into Maribelle's tent and insisting that they do their lessons early today, he was able to convince her to get her horse and bring him out here into said field so that no one, not even Gaius could sneak up on him and spy on him and his business. Yes now no one could see into his mind or gain information for some evil overlord...

"Well, shall we conclude today's etiquette lesson here, then? You've been very patient Robin. Go on and rest up for tomorrow."

This was it. They were alone and Robin knew in his heart that she was the one. If it wasn't now then it would be never. If he didn't do this than he knew that he'd never be happy and even if she said no, he could still walk away knowing that he'd tried. Suddenly all of those weird comments from his friends were bringing him comfort as most had wished him luck after teasing him.

"Actually, Maribelle? I was hoping you could teach me one more thing..."

"Quite the eager student today, aren't we? Very well, what shall we cover?"

Robin was absolutely captivated by this woman, her magnificent brown eyes that shimmered in the sun, her turn of phrase that many found offensive, and her undeniable grace as she was the very definition of what a proper lady should be.

"Uh, how to give a present to a lady... Specifically a ring, yeah?"

Immediately the usual smile she wore had melted from her face and she adopted the whole imitation of a pissed off grizzly.

"WHAT?...*ahem* Since when is there a lady in your life, Robin?"

"For a while now actually."

"But...not a word of it to your dear friend Maribelle?! For shame! Name the strumpet! I'll see that she is... Er...*Ahem* I mean...that's fine. You are entitled to your privacy. But I'm afraid even I can't teach the proper etiquette in this case. For such matters, it's best to set protocol aside and show your feelings honestly."

Now it looked like she had tears welling up in her eyes and Robin knew that Nowi had been right. Relieved that he had his answer before he had even asked, he continued on so that he could clear the air for his hear broken bride to be.

"Oh, THANK Naga... Come here then."

"...I beg your pardon?!"

"Your hand. Give it here."

"Wh-what are you... Be gentle!"

Robin's hand was shaking almost uncontrollably as he almost failed to get her ring finger through the band that he'd bought for her that very morning. It had emptied his pockets of every thing that he considered valuable, but in this moment, right here and right now, he felt that he could have given the merchant both legs, one testicle, and his soul and he would have been perfectly satisfied.

"Aaaand there!...It looks good on you."

"...A gold band? Forgive me, but what is this precisely?"

Robin felt like he was going to empty his stomach from his mouth and from his south just like he had this morning. But he had come too far and he wasn't going to stop now. He'd think of the most eloquent way to tell her what his intentions were at this very moment while also admitting his adamant love for her as well.

"A proposal."

Okay he'd change it in the journal to be a bit better with Robin having saved her from like fifty bandits and a giant dragon. Plus Robin would have a six pack. Yeah that would be nice...

"As in marriage?! So then, the lady you were to give it to is..."

"Wearing it. Heh, when would I have had time to consort with some 'strumpet' anyway? Thanks to these etiquette lessons, I've been spending everyday with you, yeah?"

"Well, apparently it hasn't been enough- your proposal was most ungainly!"

Wow. That was a major blow to Robin's pride. She may as well have just said no...

"But it was also... wonderful. Oh, Robin you've made me so very happy."

Maybe he spoke too soon.

"...then your answer is yes?"

"Of course! I have the rest of our lives to shape you into my perfect gentleman."

"Ha ha yes! I can see that now, Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker. It has a nice ring to it right darling?"

"Whats this bit about being a match maker dear?"

Whoops. Robin may have dedicated his life to this woman just ten seconds ago, but he definitely wasn't about to reveal the match making half of his life until the journal was a best seller.

"Hey Maribelle there is something on your face."

"Wha-"

He then planted a kiss on her lips and of course she forgot about his little slip up instantly.

"Say Maribelle, why don't we head back to camp and enjoy a nice cup of tea as husband and wife?"

"I must say that you've come to know me very well darling. I'd love nothing more than to do so with you dear."

Yes Robin was literally the happiest man alive and he couldn't be brought down. No not even when every Shepherd had been sitting at the horse stables waiting for their return as they all shouted congratulations and showered the two with praise and lewd comments. Robin was sure that he could make dookie in his pants right now and he'd still be on cloud 9, although he wouldn't try his luck with his new wife.

"Okay Maribelle, you have to tell us ALL about it!"

"Yeah"

"Tell us!"

"It must have been so romantic!"

"Alright Lissa, if you and the others wish to know so badly, I won't leave you all disappointed. Although my husband and I promised each other that we'd celebrate our marriage with tea upon our return."

"Maribelle dear you can tell them the story now if you'd like. I have some business to attend to and we have plenty of time to share that tea."

After Robin's ears recovered from the incessant squealing that ensued with his approval of letting her tell the story, he immediately set out to find a certain woman...

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"Lucina!"

The blue haired princess had been at the little surprise for the two newly weds, but had opted to leave instead of listening to the story of how they came to be.

"Ah yes Sir Robi- I mean Robin. Good day to you. Congratulations again on your marriage."

Robin was treated to a rare smile as Lucina always had a grim look about her. But that wasn't what he was here for.

"You said that you'd been keeping track of children from the future correct?"

"Say no more sir. I know where this is going and I'm sorry to inform you that your children are the ones that I don't have an exact fix on. I'm sorry for my inability to find them."

"Don't apologize Lucina, I'm just happy to hear I have children! So I have multiple children then, correct? What are they like? What are their names?"

Robin felt like a child in a candy shop as he assaulted Lucina with questions about his progeny. He wanted to know all about them before he met them. Strangely enough, Lucina's smile had gone away and had been replaced by a grimmer than usual look.

"...I'm sorry Robin I misspoke. You have but one child and his name is Brady. He is a priest and has a heart that matches his fathers in caring for his friends and neighbors. He risks life and limb constantly to protect those that he cares for."

"Brady... What a wonderful name. I'm sure that he is a strapping young man just like his father eh?"

Robin was so excited that he didn't even notice that Lucina could barely even look at him. She was seriously debating on telling Robin the horrible truth about his other child. But he was so happy having just been married and learning of his son and she couldn't ruin it. More importantly, she didn't want Robin to know about how it was Lucina that sent his daughter, his pride and joy as she aspired to be a tactician just like him, on the mission that got her killed in the future that she was trying so desperately to stop.

"Once again, congratulations. I'll keep an ear to the ground for Brady's whereabouts. But for now you should enjoy being with Aunt Maribelle and return to her side soon as she tends to be very jealous of you when you spend time with other women. Although I'm Chrom's daughter, I don't think that would stop her from killing me if she suspected anything."

"Oh come now, she isn't really a jealous person is she?"

Lucina's unnervingly serious look suggested that Robin should tread carefully when talking to women who weren't Maribelle from now on.

"Okay I guess I understand being a little jealous, but she wouldn't kill someone right?"

"...in the future you are as much a hero as Chrom and the other Shepherds and many women would have loved nothing more than to steal you away from your wife. Although I heard that you'd never fall victim to such advances Maribelle was not one to take chances. Most women that came within a ten foot radius of you were met with a Thoron tome and a swift kick by her riding boots."

"You know, I just find that to add to her abundant charm. Well I'm going to inform her of our son now, thank you for telling me Lucina!"

Robin waved enthusiastically as he ran off to tell his wife the great news.

"_Don't worry Lucina, I'm going to be a master tactician like my father! I'll get the Fire Emblem and be back here before you know it!"_

"_Alright Morgan, just make it back safely. You know that Castle Plegia is where Grima seems to be based in. Get the emblem and get out."_

_Morgan then turned to leave with Severa, Gerome, and Laurent in tow. She gave Lucina a wave that looked eerily like Robin did just now. Hopefully though, unlike Morgan this wouldn't be the last time that Lucina saw Robin..._

**Author's note: The whole business with Morgan dying just ties in with her coming from another timeline and gives male Morgan coming into the fray a bit more plausibility. It's nothing that will alter the story in any major way.**


	12. Chapter 12

Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

**Author's Note: Sorry, but this is going to be a long one. First off, I welcome reviews and the criticism it brings as it is supposed to help me make the story and my writing better. What it doesn't do is make you feel like a big man when all you say is fuck and idiot. If you want to compensate for your dick size I'd suggest doing what all douche bags do and get a truck and then buy a lift kit so it's five feet off the ground. But seriously, I'm not going to hate you for being honest about the story just make sure that when the review is written, I'm not left feeling like someone with trisomy 21 just got on fanfiction to write dumb reviews. Second being that I do in fact realize that Morgan is from a different universe than Lucina and the others, the thing is that they never explained what happened to him/her or what universe they did come from. The note from last chapter was geared more toward Male Morgan coming into the picture since having both around might mess things up a lot. One last thing is that having them be twins was a good idea Fireminer, but I already had an idea and I haven't seen it in any fanfics yet so I thought I'd go for that. If I were you though I'd write a story where they are twins before someone else takes it. Well I'm off my soap box now so I'll get back to brass tacks.**

Chapter 12: What a great idea!

"_Milady, some of the Shepherds have returned from their mission. They have urgent news."_

"_We are not the Shepherds. Our parents died along with that name. We're just their children who continue their fight."_

_Harsh as it sounded, that was how Lucina felt. The Shepherds were a legendary group of warriors who could and had survived the impossible. They brought the Mad King's demise, defeated the Conqueror himself, and had come the closest in defeating Grima. Unfortunately closest meant that they had failed in their fight although the details weren't clear behind all of their deaths. One of the few that seemed to be a known death was Lucina's own father Chrom as he had died by his best friends hand from what stories told and Robin, the Grandmaster of Ylisse, was also critically injured in that fight. Apparently Robin could scarcely remember what had transpired at the Dragon's table and no one else bore witness to Chrom's death. Soon after the Shepherds had all returned to their children where ever they had been and brought all of them to Castle Ylisse before they all began their anti risen campaigns all across the lands. Of course all Shepherds had eventually met their end which is why Tiki had been informed of how the children must perform the awakening in order to gain the power to put Grima back into slumber. Easier said than done. Lucina had sent multiple expeditions to get the missing gemstones and the Fire Emblem which had been stolen upon her father's death. Or so she'd heard. Most of the stories surrounding her Father and any other Shepherd was heard from other people since her father had died when she was young. Her mother Sumia had died when she was young as well, but she'd died much later so Lucina had some memories of her. A proud and graceful Falcon Knight who slew any and all risen threatening innocents and she firmly believed that the world was no longer split into countries like Ylisse and Plegia. Instead they were a unified body of people and Sumia fought to preserve the lives of all, no matter their homeland or heritage. Sadly Sumia had met her end too, although the details were scarce and most other Shepherds were confirmed deaths or they had disappeared in vicious fights, like Robin himself or Miriel, and had been assumed dead._

"_LUCINA!"_

_Lucina had been so engrossed in her stressful plight that she hadn't even noticed that Gerome, Severa, and Laurent had returned. _

"_I'm sorry Severa, I was just dueling with some unpleasant thoughts."_

_Lucina had a small grin as her mother had told her that Chrom used to say that when he had some problems on his mind._

"_This is no time to be smiling like an idiot! Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"_

_Severa sprinted off, shoving the unfortunate souls that happened to get in her way._

"_I don't understand, did I offend her somehow? ...Is this another joke?"_

_Lucina then noticed that neither the Fire Emblem or Morgan were present._

"_Where is Morgan? And the Emblem? Is that why Severa is upset?"_

_Laurent cringed visibly and Gerome simply stood there with his usual glum look. Then Lucina noticed that Minerva had been injured and was whimpering sadly._

"_I'm afraid that we failed our expedition to Plegia milady. In our attempt to take the Fire Emblem we were ambushed masterfully and our options to escape were limited. I... We..."_

_Laurent had trouble finishing the sentence, but Lucina was no idiot. She knew long before Laurent had spoken what had happened in Plegia._

"_Our escape was secured at the cost of Morgan's life. She volunteered to fight of Grima after the decision was made that a distraction was needed to let the others escape."_

_Gerome had no problem telling Lucina exactly what happened._

"_She took on Grima alone?! Why didn't anyone help her? Why did you even let her do something so stupid?"_

"_Yes, Severa, Gerome, and I surmised that this plan of action was illogical as well, but there is a detail that has been left out. Morgan proposed that she stay behind to fight off Grima alone and after all of our disagreements had been heard, she left us anyway. More importantly she decided all of this after seeing a man that she appeared to recognize as Grima."_

_Lucina was now even more confused than she was before._

"_Explain. Grima is a dragon, not a man. What could possibly warrant her to take on this person alone, be it a servant of Grima or Grima himself."_

"_Yes well, as I was saying, she seemed to recognize this man that we inferred to be Grima as the Risen bent to his will and he sat on the throne. The more disturbing detail being that the risen parted so that Morgan might meet this man up close. Instead they focused on us, hence why we left Morgan to... die."_

_Gerome and Laurent bowed their heads as yet another had been claimed by Grima and his ghastly forces. All lives lost were tragic, but this was worse for Lucina as Morgan was her friend. So optimistic and a brilliant tactician, many of the older people in the regular army would tell of how she was doing her father proud. Now she was gone and it was just as bad as hearing that Sumia had fallen from the sky with her lance through her chest._

"_Hey Gerome, Laurent! Never thought I'd see your ugly mugs again. I see 'Minervykins' is hurt, I'll see what I can do to help, yeah?"_

_Brady then began to work on Gerome's companion, quickly sealing all gashes and doing his best to heal her._

"_I'm guessin that the lady folk went to go get prettied up again huh? Well, I'm sure Severa did, Morgan is probably stuffing her nose into another book again."_

"_Brady, I need to inform you of what happened on the retrieval mission."_

"_What's to say Lucina? Gerome, Severa, Laurent, and Morgan went to Plegia, got the emblem, and gave the risen the butt kicking of a lifetime right?"_

_Gerome, Laurent, and Lucina all looked to each other as none of them wanted to be the person to tell Brady that his sister had died. Just like them, he lost his mother to Risen and his father had disappeared which Laurent knew all about as well. Lucina had Cynthia and she could never imagine the pain of losing her parents and then her sister. Fact is, Brady had gotten the short end of the stick, losing all blood relatives and now someone had to tell him. Lucina was their leader and responsibility for the failure of the mission fell to her. She stepped forward to tell him the horrible news._

"_About your sister Brady..."_

_000000_

"I don't understand Robin. Why are you here? What's going on?"

Sumia was flying furiously through the sky with Risen on her tail. Or they had been. After Robin had shown up with ethereal wings on his back, the risen fliers had broken off. Problem is, Robin had been assumed dead quite some time ago as he'd "disappeared" during a particularly large fight.

"Just thought I'd pay my best friends wife a visit. Ironic that I was the one who brought you two together the first time. Now I'll reunite you two once again..."

Quickly stealing her lance, he rammed it through her chest. Sumia fell from atop her Pegasus and it quickly flew off in the direction of Ylisse.

Robin circled above to witness the delightful scene he'd just made. What a glorious feeling, marrying off his friends only to murder them. Maybe he'd kill them off in pairs as tribute to how he had gotten them hitched. But none would compare to the feeling of murdering his wife...

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Robin awoke drenched in sweat. This dream he'd just had was just as detailed and felt just as real as the one where he killed Chrom. Of course that was all it was, a dream. He was about to go back to sleep when he felt a large lump in his cot next to him. He was now terrified as he didn't know who or what it was. Chances are if he didn't remember than he'd picked this person up while he was intoxicated and if that was the case than it could be anyone from the red haired merchant girl to Gaius. Terror gripped him as he peeled away the covers, only to reveal Maribelle. He was somewhat relieved as this brought back the memories from only hours ago when he proposed, but this sight still disturbed him. She was laying face down with her knees touching her elbows and her buttocks sticking straight up into the air. If it weren't for the slight snoring, Robin would've assumed that this was a sexual invitation even though he wasn't even going to bark up that tree for quite some time with her. He had to say that in the few hours he'd spent in the same bed as her, he had learned that she had some erratic and some what erotic sleeping positions which finally explained the strange entry for her part in the Shepherds roster. Strangely enough, Robin heard what appeared to be a fire crackling nearby and he knew that it was early in the morning, when Frederick would do morning chores and start fires. Robin figured he'd go ahead and get an early start since he definitely wasn't going back to sleep after another one of his weird dreams that were starting to worry him more. First it was killing Chrom, then he had a strange one about killing Gregor, and now Sumia was in the mix. He knew it wasn't that these people were causing him stress and he was unconsciously taking it out in his dreams because if that were the case then Lon'qu and Cordelia would have been the first to die for their long running role in 'Unrequited love: Afraid of women or a Lust for Men?'

Whatever the case Robin was going to get out and get some fresh air just as he always did whenever something was troubling him.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"Apologies, I didn't realize I woke you dear. I'm just going for a walk to clear my head..."

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Jealous indeed. Robin had been strong armed into walking around with his wife because despite her being of 'superior breeding' that did nothing to shore up her inability to fully trust her husband or his word that he was not in fact going to see a 'strumpet.' He loved her dearly, but he would walk alone to clear his head. Alone. Well if it made her happy and more at ease than he'd gladly give up all of his freedoms and be a slave for the rest of his life. Hopefully that wouldn't be what it came to, but unfortunately he loved her far too much to leave her even if she made Robin her bitch. Although they'd need to have a talk about how there were trust issues one day into the marriage.

"Ah nice to see you Sir Robin, Lady Maribelle. I see that the newly weds are eager to greet the new day!"

"Sir Frederick, nice to see that you're still as vigilant as ever in your duties. Although I see no need for the additional fires you've started around camp, one is sufficient for the morning or is there something happening today that I missed?"

"It is nothing Sir Robin, I was just lost in thought on this morning and I'm afraid that starting camp fires is a way to put myself at ease."

Or a way to distract yourself from Lissa. Robin was one hundred percent sure that with the Shepherds Tactician getting married, everyone would get stir crazy if they were single and Frederick was in a position that wasn't so different from Robin only one day before. In love with some sort of nobility and deathly afraid of rejection, but as Robin had already said, Lissa was frothing at the loins for Freddy and maybe on today's march Robin would assist him in clearing the path of pebbles in order to plant the seed for his proposal to Lissa...

000000

"...I must say that picking up pebbles like this is a pain staking task that requires much more effort than I thought."

"Indeed Sir Robin, but it is a necessary evil to avoid any twisted ankles or nasty falls. We wouldn't want Chrom or the other Shepherds to have an unfortunate accident now would we? Might I add that it is a pleasure to see that you too are being vigilant by helping me in my knightly duties."

"...I wouldn't say that picking up rocks is an actual requirement of a knight but your welcome. Also as I've said on multiple occasions, it's just Robin, none of this Sir business. Well anyway, how have the lessons in slacking off been going? If their anything like Maribelle's Aristocrat lessons I'm sure that you're being run ragged by now."

"Yes I'd say that being forced to relax is most tiresome indeed, but if Lady Lissa is going to be kind enough to offer someone of my station a chance to learn from her, then it is an offer that I will take. After all it is my job to attend to the Royal family and if taking lessons from the Princess will help me to better protect her then I will suffer anything. Even if it is as painful as the time we had to consume bear."

"Oh my Naga, I completely forgot about that! That one made me laugh for quite some time, with both you and Lissa not eating it, then complaining how you were still hungry. Oh good stuff."

Frederick didn't seem amused in the least after being reminded of that awful night. Robin couldn't tell why he and Lissa abhorred bear meat since even Maribelle had eaten it when necessary and surprisingly without too much complaining.

"Speaking of Lady Lissa, you still haven't acted on that conversation we had about you proposing to her. Are you waiting for a more opportune time or are you getting nervous?"

Tossing away yet another pebble, Robin looked to Frederick to see that his answer was the latter.

"You know I was pretty scared before I asked Maribelle to be my wife as well, but take it from me, Lissa will say yes if you're feeling low on self confidence."

"But how can you be so sure Robin? She is a charismatic young woman who captivates and inspires all who meet her. She could easily marry any Noble she wanted and-"

"Yeah well I've been hearing from Maribelle how Lissa is always talking about you when they're alone for some time. I say strap it on and ask her already. Hell Maribelle was telling me about Lissa's obsession with you this morning on our walk."

"..."

"Look we'll be passing through a town here pretty soon and you could go pick a ring when we get there if you haven't already. Then you can finally get Lissa to gobble down your bear meat."

Robin had spotted the bushes he was to escape in quite some time ago and quickly made his way into the rear of the convoy.

000000

Just as Robin and Chrom had planned, the Shepherds stopped so that everyone could go into town and do whatever they had to. Thankfully Lissa had dragged Frederick into town so that they could goof off and Robin felt confident that Freddy would get the ring since instead of threatening him for his lewd comment he only had a stern look and shot Robin a quick nod.

"Darling where do you think our son has been all of this time?"

"Eh?"

"Lucina has been here for quite some time and if Brady was with her than it means that he's out there all alone, without his mother to protect him."

"I'm sure our son doesn't need his mother around to protect him, plus if he's got half of the anger issues you do then he should be able to do a pretty good amount of damage with his staff. After all you gave me fairly good beating with just your parasol."

"Yes and I'll do it again should you step out of line darling."

"Believe me, I learned my lesson the first time. I won't be on the receiving end of your assaults for any reason."

"I believe I gave you what for a second time as well."

"I thought we weren't going to bring that up."

"It isn't my fault dear, how am I supposed to forget that my husband saw me naked before we were even wed. What is worse is that he was foul enough to try and spy on me and other bathing women before he was caught red handed. I suppose they were red since you had a fairly good grip on your-"

"Okay that's enough! Who is even doing this to you? I'm pretty sure you would never have said anything like that before we met and now you're making japes about me latching onto my-"

"Sir Robin..."

Thankfully Robin had been interrupted from denying that he latched onto mini Robin out loud while spying on his wife. He turned to see one of the many spies that Ylisse had employed all across the continent and hopefully they'd have them in Valm whenever they made their way over.

"Ah yes, what is it my good man?"

"I'd hardly call myself that, but regardless I have some news that you might find interesting."

"Should I get Chrom and Frederick here as well or can it wait."

"I'd listen first and then decide if they need to hear it."

Robin was relieved since he wasn't sure if Frederick had procured his ring yet or not.

"Alright let us hear it then."

"I heard a rumor of dragon kin to the east near the Ylisse and Regna Ferox border. I investigated and discovered that this young girl was in fact a manakete. For some reason she headed to an island off the Regna Ferox coast to a manor, last I saw."

"Hm another Manakete would be beneficial to the army. I suppose we have time to check before we head to the port again."

"That's not why I came to find you sir."

Now Robin was confused as finding a manakete seemed like the best and only reason to report this girl. That is unless she came from where he thought she did and was friends with a certain blue haired princess.

"I assume that most of the spies in the network had been informed just like I, that we should keep an eye out for young men and women who represent some of the Shepherds in likeness. This young woman was a manakete who also had orange hair, very similar to that of Gaius."

Well this was interesting. Finding yet another child of the Shepherds so quickly would be a very nice use of time since they still had a lot of time before the whole invade Valm and defeat the Conqueror and all of his forces with a miniscule army, so yeah.

"Thank you, I'll inform Chrom immediately so that we might find this girl before something foul befalls her."

After the spy had left Robin went back to shopping with his new wife.

"Shouldn't you inform Lord Chrom of the child? As a prospective parent, I would love to meet my child as soon as the tactician had been informed of it."

Robin needed to stall as Frederick was obviously trying to make his way to the ring store, but Lissa was wanting to laze about under the shade of a tree. Robin agreed that they needed to find this girl right now, but he wasn't about to let Freddy down after trying to get him to secure his ring. Robin needed to craft yet another convoluted farce to get Lissa distracted as well as Maribelle so that Frederick could get the ring and Maribelle would temporarily forget about Nowi and Gaius' child.

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Robin stood in the strategy tent with Chrom, Frederick, Lucina and Lissa. He now found himself in quite the pickle. His convoluted plan had back fired immensely and he now found himself to be the party manager, supply director, activity coordinator, and music planner.

"I must say you surprise me time and time again dear friend. First with your brilliant strategies and now with your delightful non violent ideas as well."

Chrom was almost as ecstatic as every married woman in the army.

"Yeah this is gonna be AWESOME! It might even top your wedding Chrom although there won't be anything too fancy to be worn at the party. But I still think this is the greatest idea ever Robin!"

Even though Lissa wasn't even married, she was by far the most excited. But thanks to Robin and his 'fantastic' idea, Frederick got the ring and soon they'd be married. Of course even if Freddy wimped out, Robin would be there behind the scenes to get him back to it.

"I must say Robin, we never had celebrations like this in the future. I am definitely looking forward to taking part in the festivities for the first time."

Lucina let out a rare smile as she was just as excited even though it was because she had never experienced any kind of party in the future.

"Yes Robin, a most wondrous idea. I'm looking forward to how well it will go with you in charge and all."

Robin mustered up the most serious look he could and shot it straight at Frederick. He had hoped that Freddy would get the message that if he didn't propose to Lissa very soon then he'd suck his soul straight out of his rift door and feed it to Minerva. What Frederick saw was Robin squinting with his eyebrows creased so hard that it looked as if he had a uni-brow and his bottom lip was pushed so far out that everyone in the tent thought that he'd been struck one too many times over the head. Regardless, word spread quickly around camp and soon everyone was abuzz about Robin's ingenious idea. None of them realized how badly Robin had just scrumped himself.

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"Robin darling, I'm so happy you thought of this! Now we can celebrate our marriage before the war ends with everyone else. Oh I'm just so excited! Hopefully we can find a nice dress shop so that I might find something half decent to wear for you!"

Oh yes everything was just SO great for everyone. Everyone except Robin. He'd suggested this to Lissa and Maribelle so that Frederick could make a mad dash for his ring and it worked out perfectly. Then Lissa told Chrom that Robin hadn't suggested it, rather he'd told her that he had been planning this for quite some time. Then Chrom called Robin to the strategy tent and now Robin was here in the tent he shared with Maribelle who also completely over looked the fact that it was a mere suggestion. But that wasn't the problem. No the problem was that now with the gigantic wedding celebration that he was throwing for all of the newly weds in the Shepherds, he had even less time to get the rest of the Shepherds together. Kellam and Panne were going nicely as was Olivia and Virion. Freddy and Lissa were hopefully a done deal and after Tharja's creepy comment the day of his proposal, he figured that he just needed to punch Vaike in the head and tell him to go marry her. Honestly, Robin had no idea about Miriel and Ricken since all they did were menial experiments that had Robins libido wishing he'd bought that lingerie for Maribelle from Anna. What made this whole group marriage celebration worse was that he had some Shepherds that were odd balls since he had absolutely NO idea who to marry them to. Stahl was just out there and he had tried all the remaining options to no avail with Anna just wanting to sell him crap. Henry had no options as well since saying he was eccentric was the understatement of the century. Robin had considered trying to marry off Libra to another man since he appeared to be a woman anyway, but from all of the stories of him fending off men who thought he was a blonde haired temptress, he figured that Libra didn't swing that way. Anna only cared for money and that alone was enough to worry Robin as she seemed to be a nice lady and not a complete pervert like her sister. Basilio and Flavia were a bit older than the rest of the Shepherds and he thought maybe they'd be a good pair, but after hearing them talk to one another Robin felt like he had a better chance with Validar's assistant, Aversa. Yes now he was stressed beyond all reasoning as Maribelle was already planning on what they would wear at the celebration and she was pestering him on the exact date.

"Oh well I have some details to iron out, but I'm sure it'll be soon."

Depends on how fast he can get the last few hitched.

"Plus, we need to find Nowi and Gaius' kid before we do anything and I feel like we may need to wait until after we reach Valm."

"Why? When we get to Valm, it will be nothing but fighting and sleeping in more dark, humid forests or disgusting ditches! Why not before so that we can still have a great time without worrying about Walhart or his army?"

Oh well, you know, just need to get those last few Shepherds to tie the knot.

"Just need to get a few things sorted out with the Shepherds."

"Well if you want, I could help so that you might finish this business quicker and get back to planning the celebration. All of the women couldn't stop talking about it, we're just so excited!"

"Yes I know, it sounds like great fu-"

UUUUUUUUUUUUCK ME, IN THE ASSHOLE!

**Author's note: Real quick, my Robin in game is the medium build with the short somewhat spiky /ruffled hair and it's black. I just thought I'd throw that out there since I never actually mentioned what Robin looked like.**


End file.
